Pig Poker Popped

SEPTEMBER 1--Meet Austin Gullette. The 45-year-old Louisiana man was arrested Monday night for pig fornication (technically known as a "crime against nature" in the bayou). According to Ouachita Parish Sheriff's deputies, Gullette's own sister caught him violating her animal, a 125-pound Vietnamese potbelly named PePie. She was alerted to the crime by the sound of squealing, which apparently emanated from the pig. If convicted of the felony count, Gullette--pictured in the below mug shot from the Ouachita Correctional Center--faces a maximum of five years in prison, where it would be a good idea not to admit what landed him in the clink. (2 pages)