Buster

Meet David Marcel-Lewis Johnson.

The 26-year-old Michigan resident was arrested early Friday after relieving himself on the bumper of a marked police car, according to Florida cops who captured him mid-stream.

Police say that Johnson was in downtown St. Petersburg around 1 AM when he was observed “approaching a sergeant’s police vehicle.” He then “removed his penis from the front of his pants, and urinated on the rear bumper of the vehicle.”

An arrest affidavit reports that Johnson was “taken into custody while still in the commission of the crime.” Johnson was busted on a block with several popular bars and nightclubs.

Johnson, who was “uncooperative with questioning,” was charged with disorderly conduct for urinating in the “view of members of the public.” He was freed from custody after a relative posted $250 cash bond.

Johnson, who lives outside Detroit, has pleaded not guilty to the misdemeanor count.

Meet Jack DeBrabander.

The Michigan State University student was arrested early Saturday morning on two battery counts after allegedly urinating off the balcony of a Florida nightclub and striking two women below “in the face, mouth, head, hands, and arms.”

The 20-year-old DeBrabander, cops say, was intoxicated when he “stepped to the railing” of a balcony above the 260 First club in St. Petersburg around 12:25 AM. He then “removed his penis from his pants, and proceeded to urinate on” the two victims, who were seated downstairs on a sidewalk bench.

Each of the women, criminal complaints state, was “struck in the face, mouth, head, hands, and arms” with DeBrabander's urine when they looked up to see what was hitting them. Court filings do not indicate whether either victim needed medical attention.

DeBrabander, cops noted, was “found to be intoxicated and was uncooperative with questioning.” He was booked into the county jail on the misdemeanor raps, and was subsequently freed from custody after posting $1000 bond.

According to social media accounts, DeBrabander, a Michigan native, is a member of MSU’s Class of 2021 studying engineering.

On a somewhat related note, a 260 First patron was arrested last year after relieving himself into the club’s commercial ice maker. The urinator, Michael Williams, 29, subsequently was convicted of disorderly conduct and fined $500.

At the conclusion of “Cheer,” the docuseries about a Texas junior college’s cheerleading squad, viewers learned that one of the Netflix show’s stars, Lexis Brumback, 20, caught a drug charge and was booted from the squad.

Brumback, who is known as Lexi, was arrested on April 25, three weeks after the Navarro College team won its 14th national championship. Seen in the above mug shot, Brumback was charged with possession of a small amount of marijuana (less than two ounces).

In the “Cheer” epilogue, a friend of Brumback’s said she had been traveling with friends when their car was pulled over by cops in Corsicana, a city about 60 miles south of Dallas (and home to Navarro College). Brumback’s friend said the cheerleader claimed ownership of pot found in the vehicle.

Brumback, who was freed on $500 bond, was subsequently named in a misdemeanor complaint charging her with possessing “a usabale quantity of marihuana in the amount of two ounces or less, against the peace and dignity of the State.”

The criminal case against Brumback remained on the County Court docket until early last month, when prosecutors filed a motion to dismiss the matter in the “interest of justice.”

The case’s dismissal appears to have cleared the path for Brumback’s return to Navarro (which she announced in a January 14 Instagram post). While a second season of “Cheer” would surely include an arc on Brumback’s bust, it is unclear whether Netflix is planning to follow Navarro’s 2020 march to the mat in Daytona, Florida.

A homeless man was rescued from inside the hopper of a garbage truck after the dumpster he was sleeping in was emptied into the vehicle, South Carolina police report.

According to Myrtle Beach cops, Mark Mencini, 62, yesterday morning “had been in a dumpster and when the truck picked up the dumpster, he had become trapped in the trash compartment.”

Around 4:20 AM, officers responded to a 911 call from a witness who was near a T.J. Maxx store. The caller told police dispatchers that he “heard someone yelling for help from the truck’s trash compartment.”

Police subsequently discovered Mencini inside the garbage truck. EMS workers transported Mencini--who complained of chest pain and hip injuries--to a local hospital for further treatment.

Mencini told cops that he did not recall anything about the incident, and “only remembered being in the dumpster with his girlfriend.” A Myrtle Beach Police Department report only indicates that Mencini was expelled from the dumpster into the garbage truck.

The report does not indicate how long Mencini was inside the garbage truck, or whether he was injured due to compacting or from falling from the dumpster.

A workplace dispute over “recent world issues in Iraq/Iran” ended yesterday with the arrest of a Florida maintenance man who allegedly punched a coworker in the face after becoming “irate over issues he has with President Trump,” police say.

According to an arrest affidavit, Armando Colon, 55, attacked Benjamin Martin “over an argument.” The men work together at On Top of the World, a 55-and-older condominium development in Clearwater.

Martin and two witnesses told cops that Colon was “the only aggressor” during an argument Wednesday morning about Trump and international affairs.

When Martin sought to “leave the area due to defendant’s attitude,” Colon allegedly attacked his fellow worker, striking him in the face with a punch that resulted in a small laceration. “The defendant became irate over issues he has with President Trump,” a cop reported.

Colon, seen above, was arrested for battery. He was freed from the county jail early this morning after posting $500 on the misdemeanor count.

A Florida Woman was arrested Saturday for allegedly tossing a bucket of human waste in the face her landlord, according to a charging affidavit that nobody needs to read.

Joanne Mercader, 59, was collared following a confrontation in the mobile home she rents from the 65-year-old victim. Seen above, Mercader was busted for battery on a person 65 or older, a felony.

The victim told sheriff’s deputies that she had previously arranged with Mercader to “check on broken items within the residence” in Osteen, a Volusia County community.

When the victim received no response to her knocking, she opened the trailer door and was “met with a full bucket of human feces being thrown into her face.” The victim’s account of the vile incident was confirmed by two witnesses interviewed by police.

When a deputy first encountered the landlord, she was “completely covered in feces that was dripping wet.”

After initially claiming that the victim had attacked her, Mercader admitted to “throwing the bucket of feces on [the landlord] as soon as she entered the residence.” Mercader claimed she had intended to use a bucket of water, “but got the two buckets confused.”

The court affidavit does not reveal why Mercader had a bucket of feces at her fingertips. Nor does the document address a motive for the alleged attack.

Body camera footage shows that responding deputies were bewildered by the trailer scene. “Both of them are covered in crap,” one cop said, referring to Mercader and the landlord. “There is poop everywhere,” another deputy remarked.  

Mercader was booked into the county jail Saturday evening and released from custody yesterday on her own recognizance. She has been ordered to have no contact with the victim.