When Trysting On The Couch, Best To Let That Call Go To Voicemail

On Thanksgiving afternoon, a South Carolina woman was in the midst of fellating her boyfriend on the living room couch when her cell phone rang, “and she proceeded to answer it,” according to a sheriff’s report excerpted here.

The caller was a male, but the 38-year-old woman “lied to him and told him it was a girlfriend but it was really another guy.” The boyfriend, however, became angry since he heard a man’s voice on the phone. The woman claimed that the oral sex recipient, 41, then “stood up from the couch” and slapped her in the face.

When cops arrived in response to a 911 call, the man denied striking the woman, but confirmed that “her story was correct regarding the oral sex.” Since officers could find no physical evidence to support the battery claim (and the alleged victim was uncooperative), no charges were filed.

The police investigation, unlike the act itself, was completed early Thursday afternoon.