Buster

If 25+ years on the crime beat has taught TSG anything, it is that when it comes to police vehicle stops:

1) There is always drugs or weapons in the Crown Royal bag.

2) There is always crack cocaine in the Crazy Glue container.

3) If a suspect is wearing a D.A.R.E. t-shirt, they are probably holding.

With regard to observation #3, meet Michelle Ochoa.

The 35-year-old Texan was arrested recently after police pulled over a vehicle in which she was a passenger. When questioned by cops, Ochoa “openly stated” that she “had warrants” in a neighboring county, according to a police report.

A computer check confirmed that Ochoa was wanted for failure to appear in court on a narcotics possession charge. A search of Ochoa’s bag turned up Xanax for which she did not have a prescription.

Elsewhere in the vehicle officers found cocaine, a scale, and “several unused plastic baggies consistent with that of packaging narcotics prior to distribution.” Another occupant of the vehicle reportedly told cops that Ochoa “had narcotics concealed on her person,” but a search of Ochoa found “no contraband,” investigators noted.

Ochoa--seen above in her “D.A.R.E. Keeping Kids Off Drugs” t-shirt--was subsequently booked into the Jim Wells County jail on a narcotics possession charge.

A drunken, Sunday morning joyride on a motorized shopping cart inside a Walmart will cost a Florida Man two months behind bars, court records show.

Aaron Gregory, 40, was arrested in late-July for haphazardly driving a Walmart scooter “down the aisles, running into shelves and displays, and creating a danger for other patrons by almost striking them with the scooter,” police reported.

When cops arrived at the Walmart in Melbourne around 10 AM on July 24, Gregory was so intoxicated that he could barely stand on his own. A search of his backpack located an open bottle of Smirnoff vodka, according to an arrest affidavit.

Gregory, seen at right, was busted for driving under the influence, disorderly intoxication, and possession of an open container of alcohol. The Walmart scooter, which can approach 10 mph, is considered a motor vehicle.

Prosecutors subsequently charged Gregory with only the disorderly and open container raps, to which he yesterday pleaded no contest. A judge found Gregory guilty of both charges and sentenced him to 60 days in jail and ordered him to pay $522 in fines and court costs.

Judge Aaron Peacock also barred Gregory from returning to the Walmart/crime scene for six months.

During an argument at Burger King, a Florida Man threw a cheeseburger at his girlfriend with such force that when the sandwich struck the back of her head, the woman fell “over a curb onto the ground,” police charge.

According to a criminal complaint, James Hunt, 41, and his “girlfriend and cohabitant” argued Saturday afternoon about “the victim not eating her food” at a Burger King in Clearwater, a city in the Tampa Bay area.

The dispute turned violent, cops say, when the 53-year-old woman began to leave the restaurant. That is when Hunt (seen at right) allegedly “threw a cheeseburger at the victim, striking her in the back of the head. This action caused the victim to fall over a curb onto the ground.”

The victim’s chin and lip hit the pavement, resulting in an abrasion and a cut. Upon arriving at the Burger King, cops observed blood on the victim’s shirt and shorts and cheese on her shirt and in her hair.

A Burger King worker told cops that before Hunt walked away from the restaurant, he struck the victim in the head while she was on the ground.

While Hunt reportedly “admitted to throwing the burger at the victim,” he denied striking her while she was down. Hunt also told police that he did not think the cheeseburger strike “caused her to slip on the curb and fall onto the ground.”

Charged with felony domestic battery, Hunt is being held in the county jail on $15,000 bond and has been ordered by a judge to have no contact with the victim. Hunt, identified as a mechanic in court papers, has two prior domestic battery convictions, both of which date back to 2002 in Arkansas.

“Meth is legal now.”

That is what Enzo Zabala-Cardozo, 31, “advised” Florida cops who caught him, glass pipe at his lips, attempting to light up early yesterday in a St. Petersburg alleyway, according to an arrest affidavit.

Upon spotting police, Zabala-Cardozo began walking away, but not before declaring that, “Meth is legal now.” He did not offer further details as to when lawmakers legalized use of the highly addictive stimulant.

As it turns out, however, meth possession is still a crime in the Free State of Florida™. As such, Zabala-Cardozo was busted on a felony drug possession charge and a misdemeanor count of resisting police.

Pictured at right, Zabala-Cardozo was booked into the county jail on $2150 bond. At the time of his 3:50 AM arrest Thursday, Zabala-Cardozo was free on bond in connection with his arrest in late-May for possession of meth and drug paraphernalia.

Zabala-Cardozo’s rap sheet includes multiple convictions for narcotics possession, as well as convictions for trespass, disorderly conduct, obstruction, and assault.

A Florida inmate charged with punching a corrections officer in the face said that she walloped the female victim because she “was bored” and “had nothing else to do,” according to a court filing.

Investigators say the deputy yesterday was escorting Jazmyne Levesque, 23, to a pod inside the Pinellas County jail when Levesque attacked. The deputy was “taken to a walk in clinic for treatment,” an arrest affidavit states.

After being read her rights, Levesque, seen at right, reportedly copped to the battery, saying she attacked the deputy “because she was bored, had nothing else to do, and was already in a couple of fights earlier in the day.”

Levesque was charged with a felony count of battery on a law enforcement officer.

Levesque was jailed earlier this month for allegedly throwing punches at a municipal bus driver and getting in a female cop’s face and yelling, “I am threatening you right now! Do your fucking jobs you idiot!” She was charged with assault on a law enforcement officer and assault on a public transit employee.

At the time of her July 14 collar, Levesque was free on bond in a felony grand theft case (which remains pending). She has been charged with stealing nearly $2400 in merchandise from an Ulta Beauty store near her residence in Tarpon Springs, a Tampa suburb.

After police found 87 cosmetic items stashed in her purse, Levesque reportedly copped to the theft, saying that she intended to use the stolen goods to “beautify” herself.

A New Hampshire man wearing a t-shirt bearing a mug shot of country singer Morgan Wallen posed for his own booking photo Friday evening.

Zachary Horne, 20, was collared for underage possession of alcohol and booked into the Belknap County jail in Laconia.

As seen at right, Horne was wearing a t-shirt with Wallen’s mug shot printed on the front.

The country music superstar was arrested in May 2020 for public intoxication and disorderly conduct following a disturbance at Kid Rock's Big Ass Honky Tonk Rock N' Roll Steakhouse in Nashville, Tennessee (prosecutors subsequently declined to pursue charges against the 29-year-old performer).

Shirts, hoodies, and socks containing the booking photo of Wallen--whose album “Dangerous: The Double Album” last year sold more units than any other release--are widely available online.