Buster

A Florida woman arrested for prowling was hit with additional narcotics charges after jailers retrieved “a glass crack pipe...located deep in the crevasse of her buttocks.”

The recovery yesterday of drug paraphernalia from the “crevasse” of Laurie Shank, 53, did not require crampons or axes, according to a criminal complaint.

Instead, the crack pipe was discovered by sheriff’s deputies during a "detailed search" of Shank as she was being booked into the Pinellas County jail around 2:45 AM.

Seen above, Shank declined to speak with investigators after the pipe, which contained traces of crack cocaine, was retrieved.

Shank is being held in lieu of $2750 on three criminal counts, including a felony rap for introducing contraband into a detention facility.

Meet Zayma Flores.

Upon learning that her teenage son had found and then sold a bag of marijuana she had stashed in the family’s Florida home, Flores burned the boy’s hands over the kitchen stove, police charge. 

Flores’s husband told Orlando cops that last week he “noticed a bag of weed was missing from under the master bathroom sink.” In short order, Armando Flores determined that his 15-year-old stepson had removed the pot and gave it to a friend.

When Armando told his wife about the boy taking the pot, she responded with a punishment that resulted in her arrest Sunday on a felony child abuse charge (and the removal of her children from the family’s residence). According to an arrest affidavit, the boy suffered burns to his palms after “putting his hands on the kitchen stove.”

It appears that the teen mistakenly believed that the marijuana was his sister’s and that he decided to take the pot so that she “would not use it.”

Pictured above, Flores was released on bond yesterday from the Orange County jail. A judge has ordered her to have no contact with her son, who is living with his sister at a relative’s home.

A horned Arizona man is facing a felony assault charge for allegedly slashing his wife with an eight-inch knife after he accused her of infidelity during an argument Sunday.

According to Glendale police, Juan Vargas Rodriguez, 53, began quarreling with his wife when she returned home from work. At one point, cops say, Rodriguez demanded that his spouse sleep in a closet.

When the woman rejected that request, Rodriguez allegedly responded by pulling out a knife and threatening her life. Rodriguez then slashed the victim in the left arm and left breast, investigators charge. The woman also sustained cuts on a hand when she tried to wrestle the knife from Rodriguez.

The attack ended when Rodriguez’s adult daughter disarmed him and separated her father from the screaming victim.

During police questioning, Rodriguez claimed not to recall details of the confrontation, saying he “kind of blacked out with rage.” The victim was not seriously injured during the attack.

Rodriguez was arrested for aggravated assault and booked into the Maricopa County jail, where the above mug shot was taken. In addition to his subdermal implant horns, Rodriguez appears to have replaced his eyebrows with a series of tattooed dots.

Rodriguez is scheduled for a June 6 Superior Court appearance.

In July 2000, a horned Oklahoma man was arrested for allegedly trying to run down his landlord with a car. But the felony assault charge against Jesse Thornhill, seen below, was later dropped when the alleged victim testified that the incident was just a misunderstanding.

A South Carolina man was arrested yesterday after applying for a loan so that he could purchase methamphetamine, investigators allege.

According to a police report, Grady Carson, 58, went to a Carolina Title Loans office in Spartanburg to secure a loan against his automobile. According to its web site, the loan company provides “fast cash to deal with an unexpected expense” and charges interest rates that begin at 96 percent.

A Carolina Title Loans employee told cops that Carson--who was pacing as he filled out paperwork--told her he "needed the money to purchase meth."

Since her manager was at another store, the worker “faxed a help letter” to the second employee, who contacted cops.

When officers arrived at the loan business, Carson was handcuffed and a search of his pockets turned up “a glass container with a off white rock like substance inside.” Carson, cops noted, “stated it was cocaine but he was not going to smoke it because he did meth.”

Carson, seen above, was charged with narcotics possession and booked into the county jail. He was released from custody around 4:40 AM today.

After being arrested Friday for stealing items from a jeweler in a Florida mall, Prolancia Aquila Turner, 26, was pissed.

Not at herself, of course, for hiding earrings valued at $12.50 in the waistband of her pants.

Instead, the “crying and angry” Turner, 26, was miffed because, as she told police, “Everyone steals from this store. Why are you picking on me?”

Seen in the adjacent mug shot, Turner was charged with retail theft for pilfering the merchandise from a Claire’s outlet in a Vero Beach mall. She is scheduled for a June 7 court appearance in connection with the misdemeanor count.

Turner’s rap sheet includes two other theft arrests, both in 2015. It is unknown whether she considers those collars equally unjust as her latest bust.

A woman yesterday allegedly stabbed a Colorado man in the shoulder “after he refused to have sex with her,” according to police.

The stabbing, cops say, occurred at 1:37 AM Wednesday in Colorado Springs. The victim dialed 911 to report he had been “stabbed in the shoulder and was bleeding.”

When officers subsequently located the man, he “reported that he was stabbed by a white female after he refused to have sex with her.” A Colorado Springs Police Department report does not identify the victim or his assailant.

The man was subsequently transported to a local hospital where he received treatment for a “non-life threatening stab wound to his shoulder.”

No arrests have been made in connection with the attack, details of which are scant since the victim has not been fully cooperative with police or medical personnel.