Look What Taylor Swift Made This Oregon Lunatic Do

A scissors-wielding nutcase told police that his wife Taylor Swift directed him to attack a man on a Portland, Oregon street, according to a court filing.

Cops report that Brent Thicksten, 43, was “acting weird” and menacing passersby Sunday morning when he began to chase victim Andrew Rice. As Rice ran from Thicksten, the alleged assailant swung at him “with what appeared to be a knife.” Rice, investigators noted, suffered a small laceration on his back.

When officers apprehended Thicksten, he said that he sought to stab Rice because “my wife told me to kill him.” He then identified his spouse as Taylor Swift. Asked about the 28-year-old singer's whereabouts, Thicksten replied, “We are one.”

Thicksten ceased answering police questions after telling cops he had "a top secret clearance."

Charged with an assortment of felonies and misdemeanors, Thicksten is being held in the county jail in lieu of $277,500 bail.

Thicksten, who is a bit scruffier than Swift’s usual paramours, is pictured in the above mug shot.