After causing a three-car crash, a Colorado man--whose blood alcohol content was later measured at over four times the legal limit--explained to arresting officers that he was a “professional drinker,” according to an arrest report.

Investigators busted Matthew Kampmann, a 34-year-old Denver resident, for driving under the influence, careless driving, and operating an uninsured vehicle following a Wednesday afternoon accident earlier this month.

According to police, Kampmann (seen at right) plowed his 2000 Nissan Sentra into the rear of a Subaru stopped in traffic on a street in Wheat Ridge, a Denver suburb. The Subaru then lurched forward and hit a third car.

When cops contacted Kampmann, he allegedly smelled of booze, had bloodshot eyes, and his speech was slurred. When one officer asked another if there was indication of drug use on Kampmann’s part, the suspect piped in: “No drugs man just just just a lot of drinking.”

Kampmann would go on to explain that he was no amateur. “Matthew told me that he was a professional drinker while slurring his speech,” a cop noted. He later described himself as a “professional alcoholic” while preparing to take a breath test that would eventually record a .326 BAC (the state limit is .08).

A search of Kampmann--who said he consumed 10 drinks--recovered an empty Jim Beam shooter in a pants pocket, while “numerous empty and full Jim Beam shooters and several empty Modelo beer cans” littered his car floorboards.

Police later released Kampmann into the custody of his wife, who “was a sober driver.”

In 2020, a Florida Man assured cops that, “I’m a professional drinker” after being pulled over for speeding. George Emmanuel, now 59, had a BAC nearly triple the .08 limit. Arrested for DUI, he later copped to a reduced charge of reckless driving and was sentenced to 12 months probation, ordered to perform 50 hours of community service, and “attend DUI school.”