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  1. DOCUMENT: Plea Deal For Man Who Dove Into Aquarium

  2. DOCUMENT: Battery Charge For Racist Nick Fuentes

  3. DOCUMENT: Reckless Rubbing Caused Reckless Driving?

  4. DOCUMENT: Friday Photo Fun Match Game

  5. BUSTER: Colorado Driver Busted For DUI Crash Explained To Cops That He Was A "Professional Drinker"
  • July 06, 2011

    Cops: Adult Novelty Shop Burglar Caught In Closet Clinch With Blow-Up Doll

    Meet Justin Dale Little Jim.

    After allegedly breaking into an adult novelty store early yesterday morning in Woodbridge, Virginia, the 28-year-old U.S. Army captain repaired to a closet where police discovered him “attempting sexual relations” with a blow-up doll, according to investigators.

    Little Jim, pictured in the mug shot at right, was busted inside the MVC Late Night adult store after cops responded to a 2:45 AM call. He was charged with burglary, grand larceny, and destruction of property. It is unclear whether the latter count stems from Little Jim allegedly breaking the store’s front window or defiling his vinyl paramour.

    Arraigned today on the criminal charges, Little Jim is being held in the Prince William County lockup in lieu of $5000 bond. He is scheduled for trial on August 23.

    blow-up doll, Virginia
  • July 06, 2011

    Police Nab "Old School" Fan Doing His Naked Will Ferrell Imitation

    In a misguided homage to the movie “Old School,” a Nebraska man channeled his inner Frank “The Tank” Ricard early Monday morning and ran naked through the streets of Lincoln until he was corralled by police.

    “I’m re-enacting a scene from ‘Old School,’” Khalaf Mourad explained when confronted by a cop. When he spotted the officer, the 23-year-old Mourad “covered his genitals and began walking casually southbound,” according to a Lincoln Police Department report.

    Mourad, pictured above, “was asked to take a seat in the rear of the cruiser, where he clothed himself,” police noted. At this point, Mourad’s brother approached the cop car and asked if his brother was inside. When told that he was, the sibling replied, “He’s an idiot. He was doing it from 'Old School.'”

    After being cited for indecent exposure, Mourad remarked, “It’s stupid, I know.”

    According to his Facebook page, Mourad lists “Old School” among his favorite films. The 2003 movie starred Will Ferrell as beer-guzzling Frank “The Tank” Ricard, who memorably goes streaking one night, only to be discovered jogging in the middle of the street by his wife and her friends.

    Nebraska, Old School, streaking, Will Ferrell
  • July 05, 2011

    Face Behind The Name: Meet Michael Major, The Camera-Shy Hacker Behind Lulz Boat Attack

    Meet Michael Major.

    While eagerly taking credit for helping to unmask individuals he claims are affiliated with Lulz Security, Major has also made sure to denigrate his fellow hackers. “I have no fear of these kids,” he told a Patch reporter. “These guys are complete idiots. They can't touch me here or online. What are they going to do, charge down my driveway and beat me up?”

    Still, Major spoke on the condition that his face not be shown.

    Unfortunately for the 22-year-old Maryland resident, he was arrested in May 2009 for theft and marijuana possession, a collar that produced the above Baltimore County Police Department mug shot.

    The babyfaced hacker, who lives in his parents’s Halethorpe home, was also named last month in a pair of “peace orders” issued by a judge in response to court filings by two women who accused Major of repeatedly harassing them.

    In an interview last week, Major said he has “been known to work on both sides of the fence” when it comes to “black hat” and “white hat” hacking, though he claimed not to have engaged in illegal conduct.

    FBI, hacking, Lulzsec, Marshal Webb, Michael Major
  • July 05, 2011

    Face Behind The Name: Meet Marilee Ann Kolynych, Alleged Domestic Bacon Portion Enforcer

    Meet Marilee Ann Kolynych.

    The Pennsylvania grandmother, 63, is set for a preliminary court hearing Thursday in connection with her arrest last week for endangering the welfare of her nine-year-old grandson.

    Kolynych was busted after she chased the boy from her home and pinned him down on the front lawn, where she blasted him in the face with a garden hose. Police reported that the woman was angry with the child because he had consumed more bacon than anyone else during breakfast. The boy told a Clifton Heights Police Department officer that he had “been getting tortured by his grandmother…all day for an incident that took place during breakfast.”

    The boy was not harmed during the June 28 confrontation.

    Bacon, Face behind the name, grandma, Pennsylvania
  • July 01, 2011

    Police Perusal Of Pistol-Packing Perp's Perforated Penis Pix Permitted

    Meet Otis Lockett, whose penis Milwaukee cops received judicial permission to peruse photographically.

    Lockett, who was shot in the groin early Sunday, told police that he was fired upon “by an unidentified person behind him,” according to a Circuit Court filing, which notes that the 27-year-old was treated at Froedtert Hospital “for a single gunshot wound to his penis.”

    Since hospital workers reported that the bullet’s trajectory was a “downward 45-degree angle,” cops suspected that Lockett accidentally shot himself. Which means that the convicted felon, who is on probation, was illegally in possession of a handgun.

    So, as first reported by the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel, Detective Gena Malanche Wednesday filed for a search warrant seeking permission to have medical personnel “safely remove any bandages in the area of Lockett’s groin to facilitate photography of the area.” The resulting photos, Malanche added, would help investigators establish that Lockett was a felon in possession of a firearm.  

    The warrant was approved by Court Commissioner Barry Phillips, who authorized cops to “photograph the penis of Otis Lockett for analysis by the proper authorities.”

    Lockett’s penis was, in fact, photographed Wednesday evening, though court records do not identify the name of the shutterbug. A Milwaukee Police Department property inventory notes that a CD of “photos taken of Lockett’s injuries pursuant to warrant” had been logged.  

    Milwaukee, penis