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- US nuclear arsenal attacked by army of Fark mascot cousins. If only there were some device that could be used to thwart such devious threats [Facepalm]
- Global study narrows being "cool," down to 6 traits. Mr Cool Ice tattoos surprisingly not mentioned [Cool]
- Day 1,227 of WW3. After DonOld sent Pooty Poot a signal by suspending air defense deliveries to Ukraine, Pooty Poot signals back by launching massive attack on Kyiv during the Big Beautiful Phone Call. This is your Friday Ukraine War thread [News]