DOCUMENT: Stupid, Crime

Circumcision Rage Leads To Florida Bust

Cops: Man, 28, erupted over unkindest cut of all

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Circumcision Squabble

MAY 5--In TSG's illustrious 25-year history, we have not previously seen anyone arrested for circumcision rage.  

Until today.

A 28-year-old Florida Man was arrested yesterday for allegedly battering his ex-boyfriend during a predawn confrontation about penises, according to a criminal complaint.

Cops report that Kyle Elias Perez--who shares a St. Petersburg residence with the 37-year-old victim--woke up his ex at 5:15 AM and confronted the victim for “not having any compassion for [Perez’s] desire for uncircumcised penises.”

Investigators noted that Perez, who apparently is circumcised, screamed at the victim for “having no compassion for the arrested’s mutilated genitals.”

Perez, cops say, then grabbed the victim’s arm and struck the man in the face, causing “visible injuries to arm and face.” Perez also allegedly scratched the victim while pulling his hair.

When officers arrived on the scene, Perez fled the residence on foot and hid behind a vehicle in a rear alley. After being apprehended, Perez reportedly stated that the victim’s account of the incident was correct, and that “he and his ex-boyfriend/victim were arguing over uncircumcised penis.”

Pictured above, Perez was charged with misdemeanor domestic battery and booked into the county jail. In 2018, Perez pleaded no contest to a DUI charge and was sentenced to probation, ordered to perform 50 hours of community service, and had his driver’s license suspended for six months. (1 page)