DOCUMENT: Stupid, Crime

Hey, If At First You Don’t Succeed...

Accused thief said, "I'm not good at shoplifting"

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Bad Shoplifter

AUGUST 9--After being caught stealing bicycle accessories from Walmart, a Florida Man reportedly gave police a devastating self-analysis.

“I’m not good at shoplifting,” said Daniel Kaczmar.

The 53-year-old’s spontaneous admission came yesterday following his arrest for swiping a bicycle pump, lock, and inner tube from a Walmart in Largo, a city in the Tampa Bay area.

Police say Kaczmar parked his bike--which had a flat tire--outside the Walmart before entering the store and stashing items worth $35.88 under his t-shirt.

Store security spotted Kaczmar (seen at right) in action and alerted police, who collared the accused thief outside the store.

When cops initially contacted Kaczmar, “he made the following spontaneous statement, ‘I’m not good at shoplifting,’” reported Officer Luis Rodriguez.

Since his rap sheet includes two prior theft convictions, Kaczmar was hit with a felony charge for Tuesday’s alleged pilferage. He is locked up in lieu of $2000 bond.

Kaczmar was arrested last month for stealing $20.78 worth of “multiple drinks and sandwiches” from a Walmart in St. Petersburg. At the time of his arrest in that case, Kaczmar was also charged with possession of fentanyl and drug paraphernalia. (1 page)