Please Don't Lick The Stripper

"I wish they all could be California girls." - Brian Wilson/Mike Love

Gee, we never got invited to the kind of raucous slumber parties they throw on the Left Coast. In fact, according to this incredible set of police reports, the teenage girls in Pleasanton, California not only hire male strippers for their bashes, but they don't hesitate to, um, interact with the paid entertainment.

In fact, that's what recently landed 29-year-old stripper Steven Schmitt (stage name: Steve Mitchell) and the mother of one of the party hosts in hot water. Seems that Schmitt got real familiar with some of the nubile party goers (most of whom were 15 or 16), while mom/chaperone Carye McGrath was observing the action unfolding in her San Francisco-area home.

Before Schmitt arrived (he was hired via an online Strip-a-Gram firm and came dressed like a cop), the precocious girls amused themselves with classic party games like the door-to-door condom hunt and Bobbing for Trojans. Prior to Schmitt's performance, McGrath allegedly had to warn her excited teenage charges not to touch or lick the talent.

So, you might ask, what did these girls learn from an incident that resulted in the arrest of Schmitt and McGrath? Well, dirty dancing with a guy in a g-string is no Kodak Moment. And when mommy says, "don't grope the naked guy," you should listen to her. And next time, limit your entertainment to the Leonardo DiCaprio canon.

In some documents, police have changed names to "Jane Doe." In other reports, The Smoking Gun has redacted the names of underage party animals. And as for those two evidence photos, we had to employ the red bar.

"Show Those Boys We Can Party": The Invite (1 page)

I'm Steve, Beep Me: Mitchell's Calling Card (1 page)

Caught In The Act: The Party Pictures (1 page)

Minors Forbidden: The NC-17 Police Report (12 pages)

"I Never Gave Him Head," Says Jane Doe #2 (5 pages)

Jane Doe #3 Has Her Say (6 pages)

Busted: The Criminal Complaint (3 pages)