DOCUMENT: Revolting, Crime

Cops: Creep Put Bodily Fluid In Coworker's Java

Minnesotan, 34, said actions were "gross and wrong"

View Document

Workplace Pervert

SEPTEMBER 4--A Minnesota hardware store manager confessed to police that he twice ejaculated into the coffee of a female coworker who told cops that the beverage tasted strange on several occasions, but that she chalked it up to "spoiled milk."

A criminal complaint filed today charges John Lind, 34, with two counts of felony sexual conduct in connection with incidents at Beisswenger’s hardware store in New Brighton, a Minneapolis suburb.  Lind, seen at right, manages the store’s plumbing and heating department.

According to investigators, the victim contacted cops last week to report that she believed Lind was “leaving bodily fluids in her workspace.” The woman recounted discovering Lind standing over her desk with his back turned and his hands “near his genitals.” She added that when Lind spotted her, he had a “deer in headlights” look on his face.

The woman said that she then examined her desk and “noted a strong odor that resembled urine, but was somewhat different and strange,” adding that the same odor was coming from her coffee mug. The victim told cops that she found fluid dripping off her desk onto the floor and “believed the liquid was either urine or semen.”

Most of the liquid, the woman told cops, had been absorbed by a hair scrunchy, which she placed into a plastic bag (and later turned over to police, along with the coffee mug).

The victim also told cops that she had “an ongoing issue with a foul taste in her coffee,” which she thought was due to “spoiled milk.” Until contacting police, the woman said that she had “not considered that it may have been tampered with.”  

The woman also told investigators about Lind’s creepy office behavior, noting that he would frequently walk around with the zipper on his pants down. At one point, she threatened to report Lind if he “approached her with his zipper down one more time.”

When police confronted Lind about the woman’s allegations, he confessed to repeatedly ejaculating into her coffee and onto her desk (which he attempted to clean with a scrunchy). Lind said he last tampered with the woman’s coffee on August 26, his birthday.

Admitting that his behavior was “gross and wrong,” Lind apologized and told police that he was “attracted” to the victim and was just seeking to get her attention. He also claimed to have never victimized other women and denied “that it was a sexual compulsion that he could not control.”

Following Lind’s interrogation, officers told the victim that he had admitted to tampering with her coffee. “I knew it,” she replied. “I have drank his semen. I just thought it was spoiled milk.” The woman added that she believed Lind was not truthful when claiming to have ejaculated on her desk only four times. “She has seen drippings in and under her desk on multiple occasions,” the complaint notes.

Lind is scheduled this afternoon for an initial court appearance on the misdemeanor charges, each of which carries a maximum of one year in prison.

Lind’s photo and a brief bio were deleted this morning from Beisswenger’s web site, which noted that he had spent 10 years in the firm’s plumbing department and “can assist customers with almost anything in the store.”

According to his LinkedIn profile, Lind has worked at Beisswenger’s for nearly 14 years. In addition to serving as a department manager, he also handles IT matters for the company. Lind also reported that last year, “I graduated Cum Laude from Metropolitan State University with a BAS in Computer Forensics.” (3 pages)