Michael Douglas Says "Nuts" To Trial

Here's a holiday sampler:

1) Who wants to spend their honeymoon preparing for a messy trial about a ruptured testicle? Certainly not Michael Douglas! As this federal court order shows, the actor has quietly settled a 1998 lawsuit brought against him by caddy James Parker (terms were not disclosed). Douglas, who denied hitting the wayward drive that struck Parker below the belt, settled the lawsuit on the eve of trial--and just days before his November 18th marriage to Catherine Zeta-Jones. (1page)

2) We have a message for Donald, a drunk Floridian busted December 10th for domestic battery: We're praying your wife uses that "my bad" mea culpa in divorce court. (1 page)