John Kerry

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John Kerry Backstage Rider

John Kerry, Teresa Heinz Kerry

In the spirit of bipartisanship, The Smoking Gun today extends our review of political tour riders across the aisle to examine Senator John Kerry, whose list of demands (and that of his wife) makes Sprite-lovin' Vice President Dick Cheney look like a travelin' rube.

The riders for Kerry and Teresa Heinz Kerry were compiled during the last presidential campaign and were circulated by the Democratic candidate's advance team, a member of which provided them to TSG. The documents (one is actually labeled "Confidential") detail Kerry's food favorites and drop the bombshell that the Massachusetts senator "hates celery."

Oddly, Kerry avoids all things tomato, the fruit behind his wife's nine-figure ketchup fortune. His hotel rider notes that the "phone and the ability to order movies in suite should always be turned on and ready to go for JK's arrival," things that make him "very happy."

The more detailed rider, of course, belongs to the politician's spouse, who likes celery and snoozing on a "Heavenly Bed" in a Starwood hotel that has "good air circulation." She also digs flax bread, stone crabs, peanut power butter, filet mignon with veggies, and bottled water apparently run through a "reverse osmosis filter." Why are we not surprised? (4 pages)

Comments (4)

Yes, because being socialist mean you hate America. Get your heads out of your asses, you slobs.
Thank God this man did not become President, considering he is a socialist who hates America and our military.
OMG too! This is a man who snitched on his fellow Vets, because they were trying to survive and do their job by following ORDERS at protecting our sorry asses! I still got my Kerry-Edwards(scumbag) bumper sticker on my truck.
OMG, I can't believe they actually had him run for president! He has a freaking war memorial with his name on it in Vietnam. Thanking him for his help in them winning their freedom from America.

Random Demands

Starkist Tuna Packages

Lady Gaga wants her tuna in a pouch. That's a backstage demand, not a dirty song lyric.

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