DOCUMENT: Celebrity, Funny, Crime

Paris Hilton, Dopey As Ever

Defense amounts to "Officer, that's not my cocaine.”

Paris Hilton

View Document

Paris Hilton Police Report

AUGUST 30--After a small baggie of cocaine fell from her purse into the hands of a waiting Las Vegas cop, quick-thinking Paris Hilton claimed that the purse was not actually hers, but that she had actually “borrowed it from a friend.”

But the quick-thinking heiress, after having been read a Miranda warning, then proceeded to muck up her future defense to a felony drug charge by admitting that a variety of other items in the purse were hers: $1300 in cash, lip balm, credit cards, a pack of Zig-Zag rolling papers, and a tablet of Albuterol, an asthma drug. The cocaine, you see, was the property of someone else, Hilton contends.

According to a Las Vegas Metropolitan Police Department report, excerpted here, when a cop asked Hilton, 29, about the cocaine, “she said he had not seen it but now thought it was gum.” You know, the powdered form of gum so popular with the kids these days.

Hilton was collared after the SUV in which she was a passenger was stopped when a cop smelled the odor of marijuana wafting from the vehicle. As a crowd of onlookers grew, Hilton said that she was “extremely embarrassed, due to all the people taking pictures of her, and she did not want to be seen by them.” Hilton was then accompanied inside the Wynn Hotel, so that she could use the bathroom and remain “out of the public’s eye until the investigation was over.”

According to investigators, the cocaine fell from the purse as Hilton--ensconced in a hotel security office--opened it to retrieve some lip balm. “I saw a small bindle of what I believed to be cocaine in a clear baggy begin to fall from the purse and into my hand,” reported Lieutenant Dennis Flynn. Hilton is scheduled for an October 27 arraignment on a felony drug possession charge. (3 pages)

Comments (25)

Monster size looser oh and what do you a monster sized slut too! ALL THE GUYS IN JACKASS, ARE YOU SERIOUS?
who cares? her doing a little coke has never affected my life in a negative way... she doesn't have the best excuses but its worth a shot, legally they might hold up who knows
one word for her is dumb than dumb = dumb
Atleast it wasn't butt crack hide, like the pretty black due who admitted to 420 in his crack but not the crack in his +ss.
We all know that Paris is a coke whore, even coke whore's have due process. Anyone that believes that the coke just fell out of her purse must also believe in Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, and Big Foot. It was at a casino and in their security office. With all the cameras, this cop's claim should be supported by video surveillance. If not, he should be charged with filing a false police report.
Cupid stunt!
That's a good one!
"According to investigators, the cocaine fell from the purse as Hilton--ensconced in a hotel security office--opened it to retrieve some lip balm. “I saw a small bindle of what I believed to be cocaine in a clear baggy begin to fall from the purse and into my hand,” reported Lieutenant Dennis Flynn." What unmitigated bullshiat! Cops have been telling some form of this lie forever - I remember how offended I was when my criminal law professor said that the story was called "dropsy" - all the cops did it, and the judges allowed it, even though they knew it was untrue. First drug possession case I did - "dropsy" - and that was more than forty years ago. The more things change, the more they stay the same. I would bet the rent money that the judge will deny the suppression motion - the cop went through Hilton's purse without probable cause and therefore illegally - and she'll get a little time measured in days or weeks, not years. If she were black, with the same record, it would be months, of course.
An example to others MUST be set by locking this bimbo up for several years. This is the sort of crime that puts everyday citizens in jail for years, why not these half witted celebs? Paris in court... JUDGE: "...and what are the Zig Zags for?" Paris: "Uhhhh...I use them for rolling my own cigarettes. I cannot afford the high cost of a pack." JUDGE: "Were you smoking marijuana in your vehicle." Paris: "Uhhhh...NO. I just finished smoking a left handed cigarette that I had previously rolled. I was sharing it with my boyfriend." I'm wondering if she's going to blame someone she knows for the purse. How is this stupid *** going to get out of that lie?! Paris: "Uhhhh...It's Lindsey Lohans purse!" Lock this stupid dingbat in jail, and throw away the key! If this judge doesn't, others will use the case law for their case!
I think she'll do some time for this. There seems to be a new trend starting in the court system these days. I personally believe we will be seeing more so called "untouchable celebs" not getting away with crimes that the average person would sent to jail for.
She may not be good, but she is consistent.
When is this bitch gonna overdose and put us out of her misery?? Paris Hilton and all the other self indulgence, no talent attention whores make a good argument for mandatory condom use.
simple; Hilton's digging through her purse for the coke, palm's it in an attempt to try to flush it and it slips from the grip of her shaky sweaty pinky and palm and the officer attentively catches it before it splooshes into the porcelain god, or should I use, goddess in her situation. Just my humble theory. It was definately an "awe shiat" situation for Ms Hilton. BTW, her alibi doesn't hold a "line" of credibility. She's better hope for a really good plea bargain, horny judge, or stupid jury in this one. Get ready for more jail time my dear. Your rehab has failed, but, everyone falls off the wagon at least once. Good luck.
Damn good police work !
Damn good police work? I don't think so, the girl is stupid, no one denies this, but if you know that you have cocaine in your bag you DO NOT open your purse in front of said cop and furthermore-how convenient that it fell ut an right into his hand! LOL... I never heard of anything so stupid. First, she should have called her lawyer and second, she should have taken the oppurtunity to stuff the coke somewhere where even a female cop wouldn't look.
useless waste of herpes-infested skin
A vapid, diseased whore. And this is a celebrity??
How many times does Ms. Hilton has to be stop with drugs on here and say it's not hers before she spend time in Jail.
As a convicted felon....I wonder if she is going back to jail if proven guilty. Powered gum...really? C'mon...your making the rest of us drug users look bad.
how many times does this lil dirty butt get to pull this? put her in prison,,,,not jail , prison like the regular folk who actually earn there dollar. i sick of these little rich bitches getting special treatment ,and shame on the judicial system that allows favoritism
That's hot!
The old "everyting in the purse but the drugs are mine" defense. Given the current state of our judicial system, it may just work.
I'm still trying to envision the scenario in which Hilton is digging for chapstick and coke falls out directly into the cop's hand....
lol. what a dumbass