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    Meet Shana Hilsman.

    The 32-year-old New Jerseyan has been charged with breaking into multiple vehicles in Spotswood, a borough several miles from her Garden State residence.

    As seen in the above mug shot, Hilsman was not happy to pose for police earlier this month.

    When collared, Hilsman was carrying “numerous burglary tools,” cops say. She was charged with burglary, criminal trespass, and possession of burglary tools, and booked into the Middlesex County Adult Corrections Center.

    According to court records, Hilsman was convicted last year of burglary and sentenced to three years of probation.

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    An Arizona man arrested for riding a Bird scooter while intoxicated is now wanted by police, records show.

    Shelton Begay recently failed to show for two separate arraignments in Tempe Municipal Court, prompting a judge to issue arrest warrants for the 28-year-old defendant. The first warrant was filed in mid-January and the second was issued February 1.

    According to cops, Begay was busted last year for DUI, reckless driving, criminal damage, and other crimes. His blood alcohol content was measured at .285, more than three times the legal limit.

    As detailed in a Tempe Police Department report, Begay--piloting a motorized Bird scooter--crashed into the side of a parked Dodge Dart around 9 AM. The vehicle’s owner told police that Begay appeared drunk and was swerving across the roadway.

    Seen above, Begay apparently later fell off the scooter, which is capable of speeds up to 35 mph and is classified by police as a motor vehicle.

    Begay, whose speech was slurred, told cops he had consumed two cans of Bud Light that morning. He was arrested after failing a series of field sobriety tests. A search of Begay’s backpack turned up a 16-ounce can of beer and seven small bottles of 99 Bananas liqueur.

    Along with the booze, the Bird scooter was seized as evidence by investigators. Founded in 2017, Bird offers scooter rentals in dozens of U.S. cities, including Los Angeles, Denver, Dallas, and Washington, D.C..

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    Meet Julian Mitchell.

    The 20-year-old Tennessee resident was arrested Thursday night for identity theft after allegedly trying to use another man’s bank card at a Nashville bar.

    A search subsequent to Mitchell’s arrest found the victim’s wallet inside the defendant’s fanny pack.

    Mitchell is being held in the Davidson County jail in lieu of $25,000 bond. He is scheduled for a February 4 court appearance.

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    An agitated Pennsylvania man tried to kick in a stranger’s front door to escape from zombies that were chasing him and an array of snakes biting at his ankles, according to a criminal complaint.

    Police allege that Mitchell Pisarcik sought to force his way into a residence in Sandy Township in late-January. Pisarcik, seen at right, told occupants of the home that he was seeking refuge that evening from pursuing zombies and snakes.

    Pisarcik, cops say, pounded on the home’s entrance with his fists and kicked out the front door’s window. As Pisarcik, 28, began climbing through the broken window, individuals inside the home armed themselves with a claw hammer and a frying pan. But when Pisarcik heard a police siren, he went to the home’s rear door and began trying to kick it in.

    Unable to gain entrance to the residence, Pisarcik--wearing a t-shirt and jeans in the bitter cold--eventually laid down in the adjacent roadway, where police took him into custody. He was subsequently charged with criminal trespass, a felony, and several lesser charges, including disorderly conduct and criminal mischief.

    Pisacrcik, who is being held in the Clearfield County Prison in lieu of $25,000 bail, today waived a preliminary hearing in District Court.

    No zombies or snakes were spotted by law enforcement officers, who concluded that Pisarcik was under the influence of a controlled substance during the bizarre January 21 incident.

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    A South Carolina woman was arrested yesterday for pouring water over the face of her sleeping infant daughter, an act of child cruelty that she recorded and uploaded to her Facebook page.

    Caitlin Alyse Hardy, 33, was collared Wednesday after the Sumter County Sheriff’s Office opened a probe into “disturbing images on a social media site.”

    Investigators allege that Hardy twice poured water on her sleeping nine-month-old girl. After the second dousing, the infant “woke up coughing,” cops noted. The video uploaded to Hardy’s Facebook page included the caption “Payback for waking me up all kinda times of da night.” It was accompanied by emojis of a baby and a smiling face with tears of joy.

    On the video, Hardy--Aquafina bottle in hand--can be heard laughing as she pours water on her child, who was sleeping in a crib. A still from the video can be seen below.

    Hardy, pictured above, was charged with cruelty to children in connection with the January 26 incident at her residence. Cops have notified the county’s social services department “in order that thorough investigations be conducted into this matter for the benefit and safety of all children in this home.”

    Hardy’s name does not appear on the roster of inmates currently being held in the county jail.

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    A Florida Man yesterday smashed his wife in the face with a Taco Bell burrito, “causing some to go up into her nose,” according to police who arrested the suspect on a domestic battery charge.

    Investigators say that Victor Fosser, 49, got into a confrontation Sunday with his wife inside the couple’s home in Parrish.

    According to a police report, the 49-year-old victim was upset about a family matter and “attempted to seek comfort from her husband.” Instead, Fosser “went to Taco Bell and picked up lunch.”

    Upon returning to the residence with his takeout order, cops say, Fosser attempted to give his wife a burrito, holding it in front of her face while making fun of her for being upset. The woman then grabbed the burrito and threw it on the floor.

    Fosser then “picks up the rest of the burritos and smashed them in her face causing some to go up into her nose,” a sheriff's deputy reported.

    The 6’, 335-pound Parrish, seen above, is currently being held in the county jail on the misdemeanor battery count.

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    A half-naked Florida Woman was arrested early Monday after she pulled down her pants and began dancing around in the parking lot of a Waffle House in Pensacola.  

    Before her performance ended, cops report, Freedom Ryder Zobrist, 38, sought to grab the genitals of a restaurant manager before licking the man on both sides of his face.

    When Zobrist was first asked to leave the Waffle House property, she became verbally abusive and allegedly threatened to “retrieve a firearm” and shoot workers and restaurant patrons.

    Pictured above, Zobrist declined to answer police questions. Cops reported that witnesses told them Zobrist had “pulled down her pants exposing her sexual organs and started dancing around the parking lot.”

    Zobrist was charged with multiple crimes, including assault and lewd and indecent exposure. She is being held in the Escambia County jail in lieu of $800 bond.

    Upon Zobrist’s release from custody, a judge has ordered her to stay away from Waffle House and barred her from using of alcohol and unprescribed drugs.

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    An accused thief claimed that he swiped a pair of Jack Russell terriers for “therapy” reasons, according to cops who busted him on a grand theft charge.

    Police allege that Parker Capparelli, 28, snatched the animals from their pens on a property in Trilby, Florida. The dog heist occurred around 1:15 AM Tuesday, cops say.

    Capparelli subsequently told an associate that he took the terriers "for therapy reason," adding that he “had not been around a dog in two months and one of them looked like a dog he used to own.”

    When sheriff’s deputies located Capparelli, he had possession of the dogs. Capparelli reportedly copped to entering the 73-year-old victim’s property and letting the terriers out of their pens, but claimed “the dogs followed him off of the property.”

    Seen above, Capparelli was arrested for grand theft. It was the second time in a month that he was nabbed on a felony charge. According to court records, Capparelli was busted in mid-December after allegedly trying to cash $20,000 worth of stolen checks. He was free on $2000 bond in that case when collared for stealing the Jack Russells.

    Capparelli, who lives about eight miles from the Trilby property, told cops he works for Cal-Maine Foods, the country’s largest egg producer.

    dogs, theft
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    A KFC worker allegedly smashed a drive-thru customer in the face with a bag of extra crispy chicken and biscuits after the patron complained that his food was being prepared in an unsanitary manner, Florida cops say.

    According to a police report, after Ronald Jenkins, 53, placed an order at a KFC in Jacksonville on December 29, he became “verbally upset” with a female worker who was not wearing a hairnet or gloves while preparing his order.

    Jenkins and KFC employee Shade Simmons, 30, “exchanged words throughout the incident,” which Jenkins recorded on his phone, investigators report.

    With Jenkins’s order in hand, Simmons opened the drive-thru window and allegedly “tossed the food at Jenkins striking him in the face.”

    When questioned by a Jacksonville Sheriff’s Office deputy, Simmons said that Jenkins was "very rude" to her and “snatched the food away from her.” Simmons added that she let go of the bag and “observed the food land in Jenkins lap.”

    Pictured above, Simmons was arrested on a battery charge. Jenkins claims that he suffered damage to a tooth and had his glasses knocked off when hit by the KFC order.

    Simmons, free on $5000 bond, is scheduled for a January 29 arraignment on the misdemeanor count. The Jacksonville resident, who has been ordered to have no contact with Jenkins, has previously been convicted of theft, trespass, and fighting.

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    A Minnesota man vacationing in Florida made like one of the locals yesterday, stripping off his clothes and masturbating while relaxing in a chaise on the roof deck of his St. Petersburg hotel, cops allege.

    Jason Tietz, 48, was busted Tuesday afternoon on a lewd and lascivious exhibition charge in connection with his nude hijinks at the waterfront Hotel Zamora (seen above).

    According to an arrest affidavit, a female worker told cops she spotted the naked Tietz exit a hotel elevator around 2 PM. He then “proceeded to masturbate while sitting in a chair on the rooftop.” The “shocked” employee summoned a male manager upon seeing the naked man.

    The manager subsequently confronted Tietz, telling him that he “could not be naked in public, and he couldn’t masturbate in front of people.” Tietz then stood up and, accompanied by the manager, walked down the stairs. When Tietz reached the fourth floor, he darted into his room and locked the door.

    Tietz was later arrested when sheriff’s deputies arrived at the hotel. He was booked into the county jail and later released on bond.

    The arrest was Tietz’s third in recent weeks. He was busted on January 3 for trespassing after allegedly refusing to leave a bar at the Beachcomber Beach Resort and Hotel in St. Petersburg. On December 15, Tietz was arrested at a Ramada Inn in Sioux Falls, South Dakota after allegedly exposing himself and masturbating in front of children at the hotel. Tietz was charged with indecent exposure and disorderly conduct.

    Tietz, who lives in a Minneapolis suburb, is a hunting enthusiast whose Facebook page contains photos of various animals he has killed. The construction worker’s tattoos include ink of the American flag, a bald eagle, and the year 1776.

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    Police have identified and are seeking to arrest a man who was recorded vigorously licking the doorbell of a northern California home early Saturday morning.

    Investigators say that Roberto Arroyo, 33, spent several predawn hours prowling around a Salinas residence. While the homeowners were away, the couple’s children were inside the house.

    As seen above (and below), a home surveillance camera captured Arroyo licking the doorbell from different angles. He was also recorded relieving himself in the front yard.

    When apprehended, Arroyo will face a prowling charge and a theft count (for stealing extension cords used in a Christmas light display). Additionally, since he is on probation, Arroyo will also likely be charged with violating terms of his release conditions.

    Arroyo’s rap sheet includes prior collars for public intoxication, assault, resisting arrest, and narcotics possession.

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    A Florida Man denied ownership of three syringes removed from his rectum during a 4:30 AM strip search at a county jail, according to a criminal complaint.

    Cops arrested Wesley Scott, 40, early Friday on an outstanding warrant charging him with drug possession. While being searched in the field, Scott denied having any illegal items concealed on (or in) his body.

    But when Scott, seen at right, arrived at the Pinellas County jail and was subjected to a strip search, he “removed three syringes from his rectum and provided them” to a jailer. Scott then claimed that he “found” the syringes and that "they were not his."

    This explanation did not stop officials from charging Scott with introducing contraband into a correctional facility, a felony. He is being held on a $5000 bond.

    The court filing does not reveal whether Scott named the purpoprted owner of the syringes that had been found in his rectum. Or whether that individual had consented to his works being stored in such a facility.

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    A Floridian who actually brought methamphetamine to a police station to have it tested is now a wanted man, according to court records.

    Douglas Kelly, 50, was arrested last year on a felony narcotics possession charge. After posting $2500 bond, he was freed from the Putnam County jail.

    But when he failed to show for subsequent court hearings, a judge issued an arrest warrant for Kelly, who told police he lived in Hawthorne, a city about 15 miles east of Gainesville.

    Pictured above, Kelly was arrested after calling cops to say that he believed a meth dealer had rooked him. Kelly told investigators that he wanted to “press charges” against the dealer if a test determined that he had “been given the wrong narcotics,” according to a police report.

    Kelly explained to a Putnam County Sheriff’s Office deputy that he had a “violent reaction” after smoking what he thought was “speed,” but now suspected was Flakka, the synthetic stimulant.

    After detailing his concerns, Kelly drove to the precinct "to have the illegal narcotics tested," deputies noted. Kelly provided cops with a piece of aluminum foil that contained a “clear, crystal-like substance” that tested positive for methamphetamine.

    When police catch up with Kelly, he will likely face a second felony rap for bail jumping.