Buster

Who burglarizes a home and steals the resident’s used sex toys?

That distinction, Pennsylvania cops say, goes to Michael Holden, 37, who is facing multiple charges in connection with a break-in last Tuesday in Tyrone, a borough 90 miles east of Pittsburgh.

Investigators allege that Holden, seen at right, entered the 35-year-old victim’s home after she had fallen asleep on her couch. Holden, cops charge, stole $700 in cash, various bank cards, and the woman’s sex toys, which were valued at $160, according to a probable cause affidavit.

A neighbor who had seen a man entering the woman’s home described the intruder, leading the victim to conclude that it was Haolden, an acquaintance of hers who lives a block away. When the woman and her boyfriend confronted Holden, he reportedly admitted being inside her residence and spotting money on the floor.

Additionally, a neighbor’s surveillance camera recorded a man wearing glasses and a Pittsburgh Pirates cap entering the victim’s home. A cop who has had prior encounters with Holden noted in the affidavit that Holden was wearing “some sort of Pittsburgh Pirates headgear and glasses” each time.

Holden has been charged with burglary, criminal trespass, and theft. His rap sheet includes convictions for assault, contempt, and criminal trespass, and he is facing disorderly conduct and public drunkenness charges stemming from an arrest last month.

The affidavit does not indicate whether the sex toys or other stolen goods were recovered by police.

While unaware that he was being recorded by a nursery camera, a Michigan home inspector pleasured himself with an Elmo doll, according to police.

Kevin Wayne VanLuven, 59, was arraigned yesterday on a pair of misdemeanor charges stemming from an unsettling incident last month at a residence in Oxford Township, a Detroit suburb.

Investigators say VanLuven had been hired by the home’s owners to inspect their property prior to a sale. The owners told police that they let VanLuven and the buyer’s real estate agent into the home, then departed the residence during the March 12 inspection.

While away from the property, a 22-year-old female homeowner received an alert on her phone that a webcam had detected movement in the residence’s nursery. The woman then accessed the camera feed and saw VanLuven touching himself, cops report. The home inspector then picked up an Elmo doll and “appeared to be pleasuring himself with the doll,” police charge.

VanLuven, with the furry Sesame Street character in his hand, is pictured above in a webcam still.

After the homeowners called 911, sheriff’s deputies confronted VanLuven, who claimed to have only moved the doll to inspect an electrical outlet. But when cops told him that there was a camera in the nursery, VanLuven reportedly made incriminating statements and apologized for his actions.

Charged with aggravated indecent exposure and malicious destruction of property under $200, VanLuven was booked into the Oakland County jail, where he is being held in lieu of $2500 bond. A judge has directed VanLuven to undergo a mental health evaluation, and has prohibited him from being alone in any residential property that he does not own. Additionally, he has been ordered to have no contact with the Oxford Township homeowners.

If convicted of the indecent exposure charge, VanLuven faces up to two years in prison. The property destruction count carries a maximum penalty of about three months in jail.

An upstate New York woman has been charged with animal cruelty after allegedly allowing a six-week-old puppy to ingest heroin, which killed the animal.

According to police, Nicole Holland, 26, was arrested yesterday on a misdemeanor charge in connection with the death of the dog, a miniature Doberman Pinscher named “Champ” who weighed about two pounds when it died last month.

A necropsy determined the puppy died from opioid intoxication, according to the New York State Police.

Investigators allege that Holland, who lives in Fulton, a city 30 miles north of Syracuse, left a plate containing heroin on the floor of her home. After watching the puppy lick up some of the drug, Holland subsequently snorted the remaining heroin through a straw.

Holland told cops she took a video of the stricken puppy, who had trouble walking after ingesting the powder. After police and animal welfare officials viewed the video on a social media site, an investigation of Holland was opened.

Pictured above, Holland was busted Thursday and ordered to appear in court on April 6. Holland, cops say, said she was not seeking to harm the dog. It is unclear whether she owned "Champ."

Holland, a mother of two young children, was not charged with any narcotics counts since her heroin use was not witnessed.

Holland was arrested twice last month, first for larceny, and then for possession of a controlled substance and possession of a hypodermic instrument. Following a traffic stop last year, Holland was arrested for possession of a hypodermic instrument.

Some people do not like to pose for photos.

Which is probably why Michael Gormley, 54, needed to be compelled during a mug shot session following his arrest Saturday in Norfolk, Virginia.

Gormley was collared on several misdemeanor charges, including assault and battery and making a false report to police.

Currently behind bars, Gormley is scheduled for a bond hearing tomorrow.

2/22 UPDATE: Police today identified the DUI suspect as Nathan Danzuka, 28. Danzuka, pictured below, was arrested last year for DUI and reckless endangering, according to jail records.

In what appears to be a new record for extreme DUI, a motorist’s blood alcohol content was measured at .77--more than nine times the legal limit--after he crashed his car following a short police chase Friday afternoon, Oregon cops report.

According to investigators, the driver--who has not been named pending the filing of criminal charges--was involved in a hit-and-run in Madras, a city 125 miles southeast of Portland.

Upon locating the suspect vehicle, a Ford Explorer, cops sought to pull over the driver, but he sped away. A short chase ended when the man, who cops described as “HIGHLY intoxicated,” lost control of his car and crashed into a concrete barrier.

The driver was subsequently transported to a local hospital for a medical evaluation. A blood sample taken from the suspect was tested and showed his blood alcohol level was .778. The state’s legal limit is .08.

Officers observed “several alcoholic beverage containers within the vehicle,” according to the Warm Springs Police Department.

The motorist, who is facing multiple criminal charges, was driving on a suspended license due to a prior DUI conviction.

Previously, the highest BACs reported in these pages were the .72 recorded by an Oregon woman in 2007 and the .708 recorded by a South Dakota woman in 2009.

Meet Matthew Kyle Leatham, a 22-year-old Florida Man (as that forehead tattoo attests).

Leatham was arrested around 4:45 AM Sunday after he twice “called 911 to find a ride home,” according to a court complaint which notes that the accused “cursed at the call taker during the call.”

Since the police emergency line does not double as a taxi dispatcher, Leatham was charged with misuse of the 911 system. He was also hit with a marijuana possession charge after a cop found some pot on him during a post-arrest search.

Leatham, who works as a cook at a Port Richey seafood restaurant, was released on his own recognizance last night from the Pasco County jail.

Leatham was cited last month for reckless driving following a crash that caused an estimated $8500 in damages, according to a court filing.