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Death threats are no laughing mattter--most of the time. We found this one in the FBI file of Jack Lord, the late star of Hawaii Five-0 and the only white guy to wear a konk. Seems that some misguided youth sent Lord the wacky threat and signed a classmate's name to the letter. But when agents interviewed the classmate, he denied sending the threat, adding it looked like one he himself had received from a kid who taunted him about alleged body odor. Well, when the bureau confronted that boy, he immediately confessed, though was unable to explain why he threatened Lord, who ascended to the Big Kahuna in 1998. At the time, Jack wanted the matter handled on the down low. (6 pages)