DOCUMENT: Animals, Revolting, Crime

Cops: Lewd Act Done Atop Dead Marsupial

Officers spotted "physical evidence” at crime scene

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Opossum Affidavit

NOVEMBER 16--In the long, storied history of American jurisprudence, these words have never previously appeared in a police report or court filing:

“The defendant was observed defecating on a deceased opossum with his pants lowered and his anal region exposed.”

That unusual and repulsive incident transpired around 5:30 PM yesterday in “full view of the motoring public during busy traffic times” on a street in Clearwater, Florida, according to an arrest affidavit.

Police allege that Rudy Wilcox, 45, was observed by an officer relieving himself upon the late marsupial as rush hour traffic passed by.

After being read his rights, Wilcox “denied the allegations” and contended that the officer “doesn’t see straight.” However, as the affidavit states, “physical evidence was viewed at the scene which corroborates the allegations alleged.”

At this point, readers may commence gagging.

Wilcox, seen above, was arrested for exposure of sexual organs, a misdemeanor, and booked into the county jail on $150 bond. He remains behind bars at this writing. (1 page)