DOCUMENT: Funny, Internet

Hapless Burglar In Viral Video Remains At Large

350-pound perp was filmed trying to break into market

Hapless Burglar

View Document

Market Break-In Fail

MARCH 6--The star of one of the greatest pieces of surveillance footage ever recorded remains at large one year after he was filmed trying to break into a northern California market.

As seen below, a camera inside Kent’s Market in Redding captured the portly suspect as he approached the store’s front doors at 1 AM on March 5, 2013. Wearing what appears to be a pair of ill-fitting Zumba pants, the suspect pulled a do-rag over his face before throwing a rock at one of the sliding doors.

The rock, however, did not break the glass. Instead, it set off the store alarm, which prompted the man to turn and flee. His getaway was briefly slowed when he tripped over a concrete parking block. The wannabe burglar can be seen stumbling a second time as he scurries away, pulling up his pants as he goes.

While the 17-second viral video released by police has no audio, most viewers imagine hearing “Boing” sounds and “Yakety Sax” in the clip’s background.

Though the Redding Police Department sought the public’s help in identifying the suspect--whom cops described as “a white male, approximately 5’11 and 350 pounds”--he has not been collared. According to a police official, the case is currently "inactive," but could be reopened.

In an interview, Kent Pfrimmer, the market’s 71-year-old owner, was not upset that an arrest had yet to be made in case #13-14872. Noting that last year’s incident resulted in a lot of free advertising for his business, Pfrimmer joked that he should “buy [the suspect] a pastrami sandwich.”

Pfrimmer speculated that police might know the identity of the hapless burglar, but that he may have already left Redding, a city about 160 miles north of Sacramento. (1 page)