DOCUMENT: Funny, Crime

Cops: "Too High" Man Surrounded By Snacks Stash

Ohioan called 911 to report he "smoked too much weed"

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"Too High On Weed"

OCTOBER 6--An Ohio man who dialed 911 to report that he was “too high on weed” was found curled up on the floor of his bedroom “surrounded by a plethora of Doritos, Pepperidge Farm Goldfish, and Chips Ahoy cookies,” according to a police report.

When an officer arrived Friday afternoon at the 22-year-old caller’s Austintown residence, the man’s grandfather directed the cop to an upstairs room. The officer reported that the man “could be heard groaning from a room at the end of the hall.”  

Upon entering the room, Officer Aaron Franks found the man “laying on the floor, in the fetal position.” The marijuana enthusiast was “surrounded by a plethora of Doritos, Pepperidge Farm Goldfish, and Chips Ahoy cookies,” noted Franks.

While the man declared that he “smoked too much weed” and was “too high and could not feel his hands,” he declined medical treatment.

After telling Franks that he had smoked the pot inside his vehicle, the man handed over his car keys and gave “permission to recover the evidence,” according to the report. A subsequent search of the auto turned up a glass jar with marijuana, rolling papers, a glass pipe containing pot residue, and two partially smoked joints.

The man, whose name was redacted from the report, is expected to face misdemeanor charges for possession of marijuana and drug paraphernalia.

While the pot and paraphernalia was seized by police, the man’s supply of snacks--presumably there to combat the munchies--was left behind on the bedroom floor. (2 pages)