Busted Dishwasher In Profane Gangsta Rant
"Yea, I hit that bitch," quoth Goethe to Florida cops
OCTOBER 4--Meet Ryan Goethe.
The 25-year-old Floridian is a dishwasher at Peach’s restaurant in Bradenton, though he appears to harbor gangsta ambitions.
Goethe was arrested late Friday night for simple battery after allegedly smacking two teenage girls during a dispute over a cell phone he was accused of stealing.
Goethe is seen in the mug shot at left. His alleged victims--Whitney Hefner (left) and Carly Turner--are pictured at right.
As detailed in a marvelous Manatee County Sheriff’s Office report, Goethe had much to say before he was read a Miranda warning by Deputy Thomas Derouen. After first saying that he “never hit a girl in my life,” Goethe recalled having “slapped a girl once before when I got kicked in the nuts.”
Goethe explained, “If you don’t slap a girl back for hitting you in the nuts you ain’t a real nigga. You are a punk ass bitch if you don’t hit a girl back for hitting you in the nuts.” He added that, “You are a sorry ass bitch Oreo fucking cop if you don’t hit a girl back.”
After saying, “Yea, I hit that bitch,” Goethe told Derouen that his father is the “highest ranking lawyer in the state,” and that his parents volunteered at a soup kitchen. He also made sure to tell the sheriff’s deputy, “Fuck you cock motherfucking fucking prick. I hope you realized that you ain’t nothing but a douche bag you fucking motherfucking prick.”
He concluded by noting, “My motherfucking grandpa is a lawyer. You ain’t shit.” Goethe did not respond to a Facebook message seeking comment about his musings. (2 pages)
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