DOCUMENT: Drunk, Stupid

Never Tell A Stripper She Is Overweight

Patron says he was clobbered after fitness advice

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Derriere's Assault

NOVEMBER 23--A strip club patron called cops yesterday to report that he was assaulted by an adult dancer after suggesting that she should “go to the gym and lose weight,” according to a South Carolina police report.

Kyle Yeomans, 23, told cops that he was at Derriere’s Gentlemen's Club in Myrtle Beach early Sunday when the 1:45 AM attack occurred

Yeomans recalled that the stripper was “annoying him and that she kept trying to talk to him and he was tired of it,” investigators noted. Yeomans, pictured at right, told cops that he was drunk at the time, and rated his level of intoxication “an 11 out of 10.”

In response to being annoyed, Yeomans “told the dancer that she should go to the gym and lose weight.” The stripper, Yeomans said, was a white female with long black hair. He estimated that she weighed between 115-120 pounds, and was no more than 25 years old.

Yeomans also reported that his attacker had “a muffin top.”

After receiving Yeomans’s unsolicited fitness advice, the stripper allegedly “reached off the stage and struck him 4 times in the face,” police noted. Yeomans said he was then dragged out of Derriere’s by bouncers who were “unnecessarily rough with him.”

Yeomans, who waited about 17 hours to report the incident, had injuries on his face “consistent with his statement of being struck,” cops reported. Yeomans said that the injuries were caused by the stripper who “was hitting him while wearing a ring.”

Witness Joshua Hillian--a Yeomans buddy--told cops that while he did not hear what Yeomans told the dancer, he did see her “strike the victim in the face 4 times.”

Asked if he wanted to press charges against the stripper, Yeomans replied that he “wanted nothing other than a report” to be filed. Still, an officer sought to follow up on the assault claim, but Derriere’s (seen below) was closed when the cop stopped by Sunday evening. (2 pages)