Drunk Floridian Busted After Chappelle Show

NOVEMBER 30--After punching a cab driver in the face early yesterday, an intoxicated Florida Man jumped out of the taxi and began dancing in the street and screaming, “I’m Rick James, bitch,” police report.

According to an arrest affidavit, Paul Kijek, 50, exited a St. Petersburg bar around 4:15 AM Sunday and “was kept from driving by multiple witnesses due to his level of intoxication.”

When police subsequently arrived at the Back Bar, they called for a taxi, which Kijek entered. However, Kijek (seen at right) began yelling at the driver and then allegedly punched him in the face as the car pulled out of the parking lot.

Kijek, cops say, then jumped out of the vehicle and “began dancing in the street.” He screamed “obscenities to include ‘You white motherfuckers’ and ‘I’m Rick James, bitch.’”

The 6’ 3”, 300-pound Kijek, who lived less than two miles from the bar, was then arrested for battery and disorderly intoxication, both misdemeanors. He was not cited for what was surely a terrible Dave Chappelle imitation.

Kijek was released from the county jail Sunday morning after posting $600 bond. (2 pages)