DOCUMENT: Crime

Tom Cruise, Fine Fellow

Just replace 'Nicole' with 'Katie' in classic document

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Tom Cruise, Fine Fellow

JUNE 17--Now that Tom Cruise has finally popped the question to Katie Holmes, his paramour of six weeks, it can't be long before his lawyers pull out the actor's ironclad confidentiality and nondisclosure agreements and update the amusing documents. One of those nifty 'find and replace' commands will do the trick so Nicole Kidman's name can be replaced with that of the 42-year-old Cruise's new 26-year-old squeeze. The Cruise confidentiality agreements, copies of which you'll find below, surfaced in litigation involving a former maid who claimed she was wrongly terminated by the Scientology-lovin' Hollywood star. The documents's highlight, as far as TSG is concerned, is the detailed schedule of staggering fines to be levied if an employee breached the agreement by providing information to a newspaper, magazine, or television program. By our calculations, if a household worker dropped a dime to People Magazine, for instance, they would be liable to Cruise for about $70 million (that's $20 for each of the weekly's 3.5 million copies). On the bright side, if the improper disclosure was deemed to have been unintentional on the employee's part, the fine would be halved. Phew! $35 million is much more manageable for a gardener. (8 pages)