Our Fans Can Be Badass, Delusional Christian Band Hopes

While not of the Juggalo strain, fans of the Grammy-award winning Christian band Third Day could maybe, perhaps, possibly be a security problem, according to the group’s current tour rider.

Third Day, whose albums include “Christmas Offerings” and “Revelation,” warns promoters that they should “not take the attitude that ‘nothing bad happens at a Christian show.’”

Sadly, the group does not detail the apparent havoc caused when it kicks into hits like “Cry Out To Jesus" and “Your Love Oh Lord." Though the group’s cover of GG Allin’s "Outlaw Scumfuc" could cause trouble.

The group’s rider also details how its most devoted fans--known as “Gomers”--are to be handled (Gomer is a biblical reference to the prophet Hosea’s unfaithful wife).

Comments (1)

I heard that a hardcore Gomer once disposed of his chewing gum wrapper on the floor of a venue. He was sentenced to recite 50 Hail Marys, whacked over the knuckles with a yardstick and then promptly placed in the iron maiden.