Buster

A man wearing a full Chuck E. Cheese costume was led out of a Florida restaurant in handcuffs yesterday by police who arrested him on felony charges, according to court records.

As several children looked on, Jermell Jones, 41, was collared by cops inside a Tallahassee eatery where a kid can reportedly be a kid.

Before the restaurant worker (seen at right) was stuffed into a squad car, police removed his furry, oversized mouse head.

As detailed in a probable cause statement, a woman told police that her “child support Visa debit card” had recently been stolen by a Chuck E. Cheese employee who had used the card for purchases at smoke shops, Circle K, grocery stores, and a Whataburger.

Michelle Allen, the complainant, said she “regularly visits Chuck E. Cheese” and that the last time she had her card in her possession was at her child’s June 28 birthday party at the restaurant/fun emporium.

In a bit of amateur sleuthing, Allen went to one of the businesses where her card had been fraudulently used and asked to see store surveillance corresponding with the date and time of the purchase.      

Upon viewing security footage from Don’s Grocery & Meats, Allen told cops she “immediately recognized the suspect as an employee at Chuck E. Cheese.”

Cops yesterday went to the restaurant and asked a worker if Jones--who they had identified as the suspect--“was the one in the mouse suit.” After confirming he was wearing the mascot costume, a cop told Jones, “Chuck E, come with me Chuck E.” Jones allegedly struggled with officers before getting handcuffed.  

Jones denied swiping the victim’s Visa, saying that if he had found someone’s credit card at work, “he would have turned it in to Chuck E. Cheese and not kept it.”

However, a frisk of Jones turned up a Visa card with Allen’s name and a receipt for a July 22 purchase made with the stolen plastic.

Jones was booked into the county jail on multiple felony credit card theft and fraud counts. He was subsequently released on bond from the Leon County lockup.

Jones has previously been convicted of theft, cocaine possession, resisting, trespassing, and marijuana possession.

A Florida Man who cops believe was stabbed in a drug dispute was in surgery when a nurse discovered a glass crack pipe, a lighter, and tin foil containing cocaine in his rectum, according to court records.

The surprising find occurred earlier this month at St. Petersburg’s Bayfront Hospital, where Michael O’Neill, 43, had been transported for a knife wound.

“While in surgery a RN located” the stashed items, an arrest affidavit states.

After being hospitalized for his injuries, O’Neill, pictured at right, was booked into jail Friday night for cocaine possession, a felony, and possession of drug paraphernalia, a misdemeanor.

O’Neill was released yesterday from custody after posting $5500 bond. He has pleaded not guilty to the charges.

Over the last few years, O’Neill has been convicted of DUI and numerous drug-related counts, including possession of cocaine, methamphetamine, fentanyl, and narcotics paraphernalia.

O’Neill pleaded guilty last year to drug possession after a jail strip search turned up two baggies containing fentanyl and crack rocks hidden in “his buttocks area.”

Meet Brianna Laird.

The 21-year-old Iowan is behind bars after police say they found her--naked from the waist down--burning stolen American flags.

Cops were dispatched around 4:25 AM Monday upon getting a report about “a nude female...lighting American Flags on fire” in Bussey, a city about 60 miles from Des Moines. 

When officers located the suspect, she “had an American Flag tied around her head and was not wearing pants or underwear.”

After reportedly giving officers a false name, Laird allegedly resisted arrest and kicked two cops. “It was learned that the flags that were taken and damaged belonged to the city of Bussey,” an investigator reported.

Seen at right, Laird was found in possession of a bag containing drug paraphernalia.

Laird, who lives in Knoxville, a city outside Bussey, is locked up on $4000 bond. She was arraigned today on a host of charges, including arson; assault; indecent exposure; theft; and possession of drug paraphernalia. Additionally, a criminal complaint filed today charges her with desecration of a flag.

At the time of her arrest, Laird was on probation for a 2023 marijuana possession conviction. In 2022, she was convicted of driving under the influence.

A registered sex offender who calls himself “Master Baiter” has again been arrested for indecent exposure, this time inside a grocery store in Seattle, Washington.

Described as a “prolific public masturbator” by prosecutors, Keenan Pearson, 46, was collared earlier this month after being observed by witnesses “openly masturbating...in front of numerous members of the public, including children.”

When confronted by cops, Pearson reportedly confessed that he was “strokin” inside the store. According to a probable cause affidavit, “While speaking with officers, he was actively looking at women and saying that they should be in his ‘show’ and could ‘stroke it’”

Pearson’s extensive rap sheet includes convictions for assault; voyeurism; burglary; domestic violence; possession of a deadly weapon; and multiple convictions for indecent exposure. The state’s sex offender registry currently lists Pearson (seen above) as “non-compliant.”

Pearson, locked up in the county jail in lieu of $150,000, is scheduled to be arraigned today.

The devil made me do it.

That is what a 73-year-old woman told Florida cops when she was arrested Saturday evening for allegedly shoplifting merchandise from a Walmart.

Police say Angela Velasquez Taborda was stopped by Walmart security when she sought to exit a Tampa-area store with $121.85 worth of goods (shampoo, socks, mens shorts, etc.). Taborda, cops say, had stashed the items in a plastic bag she brought into the retailer.

According to investigators, Taborda initially denied swiping the merch, but later “admitted they did attempt to leave the store without paying for these items.”

As for a motive for the alleged larceny, cops report, Taborda “stated they were told by the devil to buy them for someone else, but she did not have enough money, so she attempted to leave with them.”

An arrest affidavit does not further describe Taborda’s conversation with the devil (who has not been charged in connection with the misdemeanor retail theft).

Seen above, Taborda was released from the county jail this morning after posting $150 bond. While a judge has ordered her to stay away from Walmart, Taborda is not barred from contact with any mythical personifications of evil.

Sir, this is an Applebee’s.

A drunk man wearing a pink wig, fake breasts, and a pink thong was arrested Friday evening for causing a disturbance outside the chain restaurant, where concerned diners had their eatin’ good in the neighborhood disrupted.

Cops say Daniel Ciriello, 49, was so intoxicated that he was “unable to provide for his own safety and well being” as he was “stumbling around” the Applebee’s parking lot in Clearwater, Florida.

The “extremely disoriented” Ciriello tried to “enter a vehicle that did not belong to him,” cops reported. When questioned by deputies, Ciriello was unable to answer basic questions “such as where he was, where he came from, and what state he was in.”

An arrest report does not offer further details about Ciriello’s clothing.

Ciriello, seen above, was arrested for disorderly intoxication and booked into the county jail, where he changed into an orange outfit.

Following a night in jail, Ciriello was freed from custody Saturday after pleading to the misdemeanor charge. He was ordered to pay a total of $570 in fines and court costs.

Jail records list Ciriello’s home address as an apartment complex near Applebee’s. He previously resided in North Carolina, where his 22-year marriage ended in divorce in 2023.