Simulated Reindeer Fornication Prompts Florida Pensioner To Summon Cops

A 65-year-old Florida man called Florida cops on Christmas Eve to report that an unknown perpetrator had repositioned plastic lawn reindeer so that the holiday decorations appeared in a “compromising position, because one was male and the other female.”

In addition to the simulated copulation, the man also found it necessary to report that a chair had been moved from his front porch to his front lawn. No damage was done to his property, “but the complainant wants the incident documented,” according to a police report excerpted here.

Sadly, the senior citizen was not arrested for wasting police resources in his drive to keep others off his lawn.