Here’s something you rarely see in a police report:

On Monday morning, a Michigan cop reported to a park in response to a 911 call about “a subject in a silver car sucking on a dildo.”

Upon investigation, Sergeant Steve Allen with the Trenton Police Department located a Ford Fusion being driven by a 67-year-old man whose name has been redacted from an incident report.

Peering into the vehicle, Allen “saw a flesh colored dildo lying on the passenger seat.” During questioning, the man admitted that he was “sucking on a dildo.” He added, “I’m sorry.” As seen in the report, those quotes are rendered for some reason in capital letters.

The pensioner “admitted to having a problem with sex toys,” added Allen.

The dildo aficionado was arrested for disorderly conduct in a public park and booked into the Trenton jail on the misdemeanor charge. He has 10 days left to appear for arraignment in District Court.

As for the whereabouts of the dildo, cops noted that it was “confiscated and tagged as evidence #794.”