Buster

When planning to vandalize your former boyfriend’s car with eggs and yellow paint, it is always a good idea to make sure you know the exact make and model of the target vehicle.

Cops charge that Evelina Fabianski, 18, mistakenly damaged the wrong auto last night on the Deltona, Florida street where her ex resides.  

By the time officers responded to a 911 call about a “young woman spray-painting a vehicle,” Fabianski had already caused $5000 in damages to an innocent Infiniti sedan (seen above). Along with the words “Jason” and “Devil,” Fabianski allegedly covered the car with various other scribbles.

Fabianski, who was assisted by a 16-year-old female sidekick, told cops that she was angry at her ex over a $700 debt she was owed, according to an arrest affidavit.

Cops allege that Fabianski “decided to spray paint what she thought was his vehicle.” In fact, the defaced auto is owned by a man who lives across the street.

Pictured at right, Fabianski was charged with criminal mischief, contributing to the delinquency of a child, and illegal possession of alcohol. She was also hit with a DUI rap. Her underage cohort--who was found covered in yellow paint--was cited for marijuana possession.

Commenting on the vandalism, a sheriff’s deputy told Fabianski, “You really need to try harder to try to be sneaky, because you are God awful.” He added, chuckling, “And you guys spray painted the wrong damn car.”

Fabianski was freed on bond late this afternoon from the county jail. While three of the four counts she faces are misdemeanors, the criminal mischief is a felony since damage to the car exceeded $1000.

Using a fingerprint lifted off a Goldfish package, cops identified and arrested a man for hitting a female Family Dollar manager in the face with the crackers when she confronted him about stealing from the retailer.

Cops allege that Michael Gonzalez, who is known as “Gizmo,” struck the 65-year-old victim after walking out of the Florida business with “approximately $50 worth of cleaning supplies and a box of Goldfish crackers.”

The victim, cops say, approached Gonzalez as he handed the stolen goods to a passenger in a vehicle parked in front of the Gulfport store. Upon being challenged by the woman, Gonzalez, 29, allegedly “hit her in the face with the Goldfish crackers, causing a small cut” under her lip.

Seen at right, Gonzalez was arrested yesterday for strong arm robbery, a felony, in connection with the September 2024 Goldfish incident. He was in custody Thursday for a prior alleged robbery during which he stole a skateboard from a man who he punched, bit, and stabbed in the face and head.

Shown surveillance images from Family Dollar (pictured below), Gonzalez--who has several distinctive tattoos, including one between his eyes--reportedly admitted to cops he was the individual in the photos.

“Throughout the interview,” police noted, Gonzalez “stated that this was petty and that he should just get time served.” A judge apparently disagreed with that analysis, setting Gonzalez’s bond at $30,000 for the two pending felony robbery cases.

Locked up in the county jail, Gonzalez is familiar with such accommodations. His rap sheet includes convictions for theft; trespass; robbery; cocaine possession; disorderly conduct; and attempted armed robbery. In addition to various jail sentences, Gonzalez has served nearly two years in state prison, records show.

Police are scrambling to identify who poached about 100,000 organic eggs from a Pennsylvania protein producer.

Cops estimated the “current” street value of the eggs at $40,000 (though that figure could increase based on skyrocketing prices).

Investigators say Pete & Gerry’s Organic Eggs was victimized Saturday evening when one of its distribution trailers was burglarized. The eggs were swiped from outside the firm’s headquarters in Greencastle, a borough in the south-central part of the state.

Pennsylvania State Police officials have asked the public to contact them with any information about the theft. Or who might be trying to fence 8333 dozen eggs.

Even in Key West, Florida, where some louche behavior is tolerated, you are going to get arrested for having sex at 4:20 AM on a sidewalk adjacent to the main road through town.

Early Tuesday morning, cops were driving on a two-lane stretch of U.S. Route 1 when they spotted a woman “bent over” in front of a man who was “thrusting his hips back and forth” while the couple was situated in front of a pet grooming business.

“The two subjects continued intercourse until I activated my emergency lights,” reported Officer Bryce Sonnichsen.

In the glow of the cruiser’s cherry top, William Jeannot, 41, “put his penis back inside of his pants,” while Diane Clawson, 38, “put down her dress.” Clawson reportedly “was disheveled with her bodysuit undone.”

Jeannot and Clawson were subsequently arrested for committing lascivious acts with another person in a public place. The duo was booked into the Monroe County jail on the misdemeanor charge and later released.

While court and police records list Jeannot’s address as a Whitehall, Michigan residence, he recently began a job with a Key West yacht company, according to a post on his Facebook page. Clawson, who works as a server in Key West, lives in nearby Stock Island and is a licensed esthetician, or “facial specialist.”

Jeannot and Clawson are scheduled for a January 31 arraignment.

In today’s installment of the FAFO Chronicles:

Adding injury to insult, a Louisiana man was walloped in the face after he shouted racial slurs at a group of Black victims and declared, “I hate n*ggers,” according to a police report.

Officers arrested Clint Ferguson, 51, following a confrontation Sunday night in the parking lot of the Shoe Show in Monroe. 

According to the victims, “who are black,” they were sitting in their car when Ferguson pulled up next to them, exited his ride, and began shouting racial slurs at the driver, a probable cause statement alleges.

After declaring that, “I hate n*ggers,” Ferguson returned to his car and tried to drive away. His path, however, was blocked by the driver, who had called 911 and told Ferguson, “You are going to wait for the police.”

Ferguson, cops allege, “drove around the victim and ran over the victim’s foot.” The victim “then punched Ferguson through the open driver window as Ferguson drove away.”

Seen above with a fresh shiner, Ferguson later returned to the parking lot, but refused police orders to exit his car. Three officers eventually pulled Ferguson from the vehicle and handcuffed him. He was charged with aggravated battery, a felony, and misdemeanor hate crimes and resisting an officer counts.

After Ferguson was treated at a local hospital “for his eye and nose where the victim hit him,” he was booked into the county jail, where he remains locked up in lieu of $50,000 bond.

A Donald Trump fan who refused last month to remove his “Make America Great Again” hat while at a Minnesota polling place was charged yesterday in a misdemeanor complaint.

Police say Christopher Villwock, 34, was “wearing a hat displaying a logo/slogan of a candidate appearing on the ballot for the presidential election” when he showed up at a polling site on November 5.

Villwock was repeatedly asked to remove his hat by polling supervisors and election judges, according to a December 17 court filing. Villwock “became confrontational and would not abide by the numerous requests to leave the polling place.” He “was eventually removed” by officers with the Mankato Police Department.

 A police review of surveillance footage showed Villwock ignoring election officials and “walking up to and questioning citizens who were attempting to vote at that time.” As a result of the disruption, a “long line of voters formed,” with officials being “forced to redirect voters away from the situation while simultaneously addressing Villwock.”

Pictured in the above Facebook photo, Villwock was charged with a misdemeanor for allegedly violating the state’s fair campaign practices statute. The count carries a maximum penalty of $300.

Villwock, who lives on Patriot Drive in Mankato, has posts on his Facebook page urging support for Republican candidates and detailing the supposed side effects of fluoridated water. Another post shows a handwritten sign declaring that, “All 3 letter agencies need to be defunded and to be abolished.”

Minnesota Governor Tim Walz, the 2024 Democratic vice presidential candidate, taught and coached football at Mankato West High School for a decade before leaving to run for Congress in 2006.