Sh*t My Dad Smuggles In His Anus To Me In Prison

After plotting over a monitored telephone with his imprisoned son, a California man traveled to a federal lockup in Colorado and sought to smuggle his offspring a golf ball-sized chunk of black tar heroin that he had wrapped in plastic and stashed in his anus.

The father-son smuggling bid ended Friday night with the arrest of Donald Denney, 56, at the federal prison in Florence, Colorado, where Denney's son is serving a seven-year sentence for bank robbery.

Although it is well-known that telephone conversations at federal prison are recorded, Denney and his incarcerated son, also named Donald, nonetheless allegedly hatched the smuggling plan in a series of calls over the summer. Initially, the heroin was to be brought into the prison by a female accomplice who was to transfer the drugs to Denney via a mouth-to-mouth kiss. That plan was scotched, however, when the Denneys were unable to locate a woman--with a clean record--whose visit would be approved by prison officials.

As a result, the elder Denney--pictured in the above mug shot--was pressed into service.

According to an affidavit sworn by FBI Agent Harry Deal, Denney told his son he would drive to Colorado with the “you know what somewhere in the car,” then transfer it “from my mouth to yours” by kissing his son during a visit. The younger man was then prepared to swallow the heroin, pass it through his system at a later point, and then market the drug to fellow inmates (the Denneys expected to make $22,000 from the spit swap).

But when Denney arrived to visit his son late Friday afternoon, he was intercepted by FBI agents carrying a warrant authorizing a full body search of the smuggling suspect. During a strip search, federal agents spotted “a plastic wrapper protruding from Denney’s anus.” Denney subsequently removed the black tar heroin, which was sealed in “Saran wrap-type” plastic and had been placed inside the severed finger of a Latex glove. In an interview with agents, he confessed to the smuggling scheme and implicated his son in the plot.

Denney, whose rap sheet includes a felony drug conviction, was arrested by FBI agents and charged with possessing heroin with intent to distribute, a felony. His son has not been charged, yet, in connection with the alleged smuggling conspiracy.