Donny Osmond

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Donny Osmond Rider

Donny Osmond

Fueled by Spanish peanuts, Altoids, and jicama (that's the so-called Mexican turnip), you'd think aging teen idol Donny Osmond would have the energy to sign autographs for each and every one of the 68 fans who make one of his concerts. But post-gig, while Donny may selectively bestow his John Hancock, he wants to get to the tour bus pronto (you can't imagine how exhausting it is to belt out "Puppy Love"). And if the weather is "cool and/or rainy," all those geriatric band aids are screwed. (4 pages)

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