BACKSTAGE RIDER: Hall of Fame

Beach Boys

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Beach Boys

Here's a Beach Boys bonanza, culled from three different tour riders. From sell-out clauses to sending thanks on behalf of the planet, this wack pack needs everything from alfalfa sprouts and chewing tobacco to Bic lighters ("NOT GREEN") and Betty Crocker popcorn. But don't think of these dinosaurs as an "OLDIES" act, just a bunch of musicians who understand that the single most important amenity remains "WORKING TOILETS!!!!!" (6 pages)

Beach Boys Rider

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Cave-Aged Gruyere Cheese

Singer/activist M.I.A. enjoys cheese carefully aged in warm, humid subterranean vaults.

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May 24, 2019
DOCUMENT: Stupid, Crime

Police Hunting Toilet Paper, Vodka Thief
Louisiana woman, 30, facing misdemeanor rap when caught

  1. BUSTER: Accused Thief Said Money Was "Calling Out To Me" Before He Stole $1450 From Arby's Cashier

  2. DOCUMENT: Cops: Woman Fired Gun Over Oral Denial

  3. DOCUMENT: Police Hunting Toilet Paper, Vodka Thief

  4. BUSTER: Motorist Explains To Detectives Why He Did Not Pull Over When Squad Car Lights Flashed

  5. BUSTER: Police Seized "Baggie With Off White Liquid Substance" In Probe Of Vile Middle School Crepe Tainting