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- Somehow, incredibly, "I need to get home to my cat" won't sway the cops when you're pulled over for driving 130+ mph while drunk [Dumbass]
- "Someone is slipping a hidden backdoor into Juniper routers across the globe, activated by a magic packet." Magic packet that opens a backdoor... so, 'shrooms or ecstasy? [Giggity]
- "We've been trying to reach you concerning your vehicle's extended warranty," he said, probably [Creepy]