Batting Third, Charlie Wattsizname

OCTOBER 5--When the New York Yankees check into hotels on the road, stars like Derek Jeter and Alex Rodriguez register under phony names so not to be bothered by groupies, autograph seekers, and assorted lunatics.

For instance, when the Bronx Bombers played the Seattle Mariners in late-2005, the club stayed at the swanky Fairmont Olympic Hotel, where many players checked in using their phony handles, according to a $47,905.85 invoice sent to the club.

In a story this week in The Village Voice, reporter Neil deMause matched aliases with some actual Yankees by comparing the invoice with a separate key that he examined while sifting through documents submitted by the team to New York City's Department of Parks & Recreation, which oversees the club's Yankee Stadium lease.

Here's a Who's Who from the 2005 squad: Johnny Drama (Jeter); Simon Phoenix (Mike Mussina); Bruce Almighty (Don Mattingly); Ricky Ricardo (Jorge Posada); Joe Saturday (Hideki Matsui); Sam Adams (Randy Johnson); Richard Long (Bernie Williams); Turd Ferguson (Jaret Wright); and Austin Powers (Ruben Sierra). We're not sure why outfielder Matt Lawton used the 'Eleven Fifty' alias, but Luis Sojo apparently went by 'Harry Pelotas' because the fake surname translates to 'balls' in Spanish.

As for the true identities of Johnny Blaze, Ray Charles, Davey Crockett, Jack Daniels, Payne N. Deneck, Fyfe, Bo Jackson, Bruce Lee, Leon, Ghost Ryder, Charlie Wattsizname, and Randy White, well, that's a mystery.

But we're pretty sure that 'Joe Russo' is manager Joe Torre and that 'Alex Emanuel' is Alex Rodriguez, who appears to use his actual middle name as his phony surname. (2 pages)