Beef Jerky Bandit Is Bagged By Police

NOVEMBER 24--After being arrested for breaking into a Circle K store at 2:15 AM yesterday and stealing a bag of beef jerky, an Illinois man told police, “I know you are going to think I’m crazy, but there is an AI intelligence speaker in my neck,” according to court records.

Police charge that Kohl Bertels, 33, kicked in the front glass door of the convenience store in St. Charles, Missouri and then climbed into the locked business and “proceeded to eat a bag of beef jerky and drink a sweet tea that he did not pay for.”

When cops arrived at Circle K, Bertels was detained and asked about the break-in. Bertels reportedly confessed, saying that, “the voices in my head told me to kick it open since it was locked,” and that he “just wanted to use the bathroom.”

Pictured above, Bertels also made his artificial intelligence claim, but it is unclear what role the purported implant played in the alleged burglary.

Bertels, whose residence is about 40 miles from the Missouri store, added that he had walked to the Circle K from Illinois.

Bertels was arrested for burglary, a felony, and property damage, a second-degree misdemeanor. He was also charged with stealing property valued at less than $150.

Locked up in lieu of $2500 cash, Bertels has been ordered to have no contact with Circle K and submit to a mental health examination if he bonds out of custody.

Until his parole earlier this year, Bertels was locked up in an Illinois state prison for aggravated robbery, for which he was sentenced to 9 years. His rap sheet also includes multiple felony burglary convictions. (2 pages)