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    Meet Izaiah Kirby.

    Following his arrest early last week, the South Carolinan, 18, was charged Friday with two counts of attempted murder, narcotics possession, and possession of a weapon during a violent crime, according to court records.

    Kirby is being held in the Spartanburg County jail on $55,000 bond in connection with the four felony counts. The teen resides in Cowpens, a small town outside Spartanburg.

    As for Kirby’s lustrous flow, he may have difficulty maintaining those glorious locks behind bars since access to product is limited for detainees.

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    A Florida Man who told police that his Donald Trump flag was stolen from his front yard also reported discovering a handwritten message in his mailbox “referencing Antifa” that warned “we are here” and “we are watching.”

    Mark Mazzarella, 69, called cops Friday morning to report the flag theft, which occurred the prior evening, according to a police report. Mazzarella, a registered Republican, lives on a quiet Vero Beach street.

    Upon discovering his flag missing, Mazzarella found a sheet of paper mentioning Antifa and the purported monitoring of his residence by members of the shadowy organization that does not exist.

    The flag pilfering probe is inactive since “there was no tangible evidence left at the scene and there were no close by cameras that could have assisted the investigation.”

    The note--which police took from Mazzarella--did not seem to be the product of some menacing, black-clad militants. “The handwriting,” cops noted, “appears to be that of a child.”

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    A naked woman on a midnight golf cart joyride was arrested early Saturday when she drove through a police perimeter in Florida, cops say.

    While officers were involved in an armed standoff with a teenager, Jessica Smith, 28, drove past several patrol cars while behind the wheel of a golf cart. Smith allegedly ignored a police command to depart the area and continued to approach “the target house of where the armed suspect was on the roof.”

    When Smith, police say, refused to exit the golf cart, she “was assisted out and handcuffed” around 12:05 AM. Smith smelled of alcohol and was “completely nude,” according to a criminal complaint charging her with obstruction, a misdemeanor.

    The complaint lists Smith’s home address as a residence in West Roxbury, Massachusetts. Smith’s parents own a home about a mile from where she was arrested in Dunedin, a city in the Tampa Bay area.

    Investigators allege that Smith’s naked antics “put multiple deputies at risk for potentially getting shot at.”

    Seen above, Smith was released on her own recognizance from the Pinellas County jail around 7 AM Saturday.

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    A Florida Woman is behind bars after allegedly attacking her husband with a plate of spaghetti in a domestic pasta battery that left the victim “covered in meat sauce.”

    Investigators charge that Melissa Daigle, 44, was intoxicated last night during a family discussion that turned violent when she “threw her dinner, a plate of spaghetti” at her spouse.

    The spaghetti struck the torso and lap of Daigle’s husband. “The victim was not injured, just covered in meat sauce,” reported a sheriff’s deputy who responded to the couple’s Largo home.

    Daigle was arrested for domestic battery and booked into the county jail. During a court appearance this morning, a judge barred Daigle from having any contact with her husband and ordered her to be outfitted with an alcohol monitoring device.

    Daigle and the victim have been married for 20 years and the September 1 confrontation occurred in front of the couple’s adult children, cops say.

    Daigle, who works at a Largo bar, was arrested in May for allegedly spitting on her husband and striking him in the face with her car keys during a 1 AM confrontation in their residence. Prosecutors subsequently declined to pursue charges against Daigle.

    Last month, police found a Florida couple “covered in spaghetti” following a 1 AM argument in their Clearwater home. While the combatants were each arrested for domestic battery, prosecutors this week declined to pursue charges against the duo.

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    The naked woman who recently was found skinny-dipping in a stranger’s pool has copped a plea to a pair of misdemeanor criminal charges, according to Florida court records.

    Heather Kennedy, 42, pleaded no contest Monday to trespass and resisting charges in connection with a bizarre July incident at a residence in Port Charlotte. A judge sentenced Kennedy to time she had already served in the Charlotte County jail and fined her $320.

    Kennedy was arrested after James Clark, 69, called 911 upon returning from a doctor’s visit to discover "a naked white female in the pool." As seen above, Kennedy was still in the water when sheriff’s deputies arrived at Clark's home.

    After being coaxed out of the pool, Kennedy struggled with deputies as they attempted to handcuff her.

    Days after being released from custody for the July 19 pool incursion, Kennedy was arrested for breaking into a truck. Along with burglary, theft, and criminal mischief counts, Kennedy (seen at right) was also charged with possession of drug paraphernalia and introducing contraband into a correctional facility.

    The latter two charges stemmed from the discovery by jailers of a methamphetamine pipe inside Kennedy’s vagina.

    Kennedy’s list of legal troubles also includes a probation violation charge related to her conviction earlier this year on a felony narcotics possession rap. Prosecutors contend that Kennedy’s most recent collars violated terms of an April 2021 probationary sentence.

    The narcotics case resulted from a traffic stop that yielded morphine pills, marijuana, and crack and meth pipes. Kennedy denied ownership of the pills, claiming they were the property of "a male by the name of Crackhead Chris," according to a police report.

    Kennedy is being held in the Charlotte County jail in Punta Gorda.

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    A man named Tatman was wearing a Batman shirt when arrested for robbin’, records show.

    Seen above, Alan Tatman, 46, was busted Wednesday for allegedly pilfering merchandise worth more than $500 from a Target store in Lexington, Kentucky. 

    When he posed for his mug shot (seen above), Tatman was wearing a black t-shirt with the Batman logo.

    Tatman, who is on probation for a prior felony conviction, is being held in the county jail on theft charges, as well as counts related to his alleged failure to appear in court in connection with a separate burglary and theft case.

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    When a “very large bag of marijuana” tumbles out of your shirt after the handcuffs have been applied, do not be surprised when the cops ignore your disavowal of ownership of said weed.

    Police responding early Saturday to calls about a disturbance at an Iowa apartment building discovered Kyle Clark, 19, and another man “face to face yelling at each other,” according to a criminal complaint.

    Upon spotting the Iowa City Police Department officers, Clark tried to walk away from cops, who noticed he “had a very large bulge under his shirt near the waist line like he was trying to hide something.”

    When a cop asked if the protuberance was “a bag of weed,” Clark reportedly “tried to walk down the stairs which was a dead end.”

    After Clark was handcuffed around 3 AM, “a very large bag of marijuana fell from under his shirt. He claimed it wasn’t his,” reported Officer Tyler Lakose. The complaint does not indicate whether Clark explained why he had someone else’s stash--which weighed about four ounces--nestled against his belly

    Clark was charged with felony and misdemeanor drug counts and booked into the Johnson County jail, from which he was released late Saturday morning.

    In a similar case, a Louisiana woman denied ownership of methamphetamine that was discovered inside her vagina during a 2019 jail strip search. She subsequently pleaded guilty to a felony narcotics charge.

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    A long-haul trucker is facing multiple criminal charges after crashing his tractor-trailer--which was filled with Pop-Tarts and Cheez-Its--while driving early this morning on Interstate 95 in Maine.

    Police say that Miles McIntyre, a 61-year-old Southern California resident, drove off the road and struck rock ledges, causing the truck to roll on its side (and the vehicle’s contents to tragically spill into a ditch).

    Officers responding to the rollover crash arrested McIntyre after he was determined to be impaired. McIntyre was charged with driving under the influence of drugs, driving to endanger, and possession of methamphetamine.

    Pictured above, McIntyre was treated for minor injuries at a local hospital, and then booked into the Kennebec County jail.

    While police did not reveal how many Pop-Tarts and Cheez-Its perished in the crash, an inspector from the Maine Department of Agriculture was on site to inspect survivors to “ensure safe consumption.”

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    The Tesla owner who was watching a movie when his car, traveling in autopilot mode, struck a North Carolina police cruiser has walked away from the crash legally unscathed, records show.

    Prosecutors recently dismissed a pair of charges filed against Devainder Goli following the August 2020 crash on Highway 64 near Raleigh. Goli, a 67-year-old doctor, was cited for watching TV while driving and failing to move over.

    Both counts were dropped last month by prosecutors, according to a District Court filing which does not offer an explanation for the dismissal, but indicates that Goli’s insurer paid more than $28,000 in property damage claims.

    Goli’s lawyer, Henry Neese, did not return TSG calls about the case. In an email, Heather Nicol, a spokesperson for the prosecutor’s office, wrote that the dismissal notice “is all we will be legal able to tell you. Have a wonderful day.”

    According to police, Goli (seen at right) was driving home around midnight when his 2015 Tesla Model S sedan struck a Nash County Sheriff's Office squad car, which then caromed into a North Carolina State Highway Patrol vehicle. Both autos were stopped on the highway due to an earlier accident.

    Two cops--who were both outside their vehicles--were knocked to the ground in the crash, but not seriously injured.

    A police investigation determined that Goli was watching a movie on his phone while the Tesla traveled in autopilot mode, guided by a series of cameras and ultrasonic sensors.

    As seen in the below evidence photos, Goli’s Tesla and the sheriff’s vehicle suffered significant damage in the crash.

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    The drunken Oregon motorist whose blood alcohol content was measured at more than nine times the legal limit--apparently a U.S. record--has been sentenced to 13 months in prison for his inebriated antics, according to court records.

    Nathan Danzuka, 28, recently pleaded guilty to DUI, reckless driving, and fleeing charges in connection with a hit-and-run accident (and subsequent police chase) in February in Madras, a city 125 miles southeast of Portland.

    Danzuka was arrested after crashing his Ford Explorer into a concrete barrier. Police reported finding “several alcoholic beverage containers” inside the SUV.

    Danzuka was subsequently transported to a local hospital where a blood sample showed that his blood alcohol level was a staggering .778, more than nine times the legal .08 limit. At time of his arrest, Danzuka was driving on a suspended license due to a prior drunk driving conviction.

    In addition to his 13-month prison term, Danzuka was sentenced to a year’s probation and had his driver’s license “suspended for life,” court records show.

    Pictured above in a Department of Corrections photo, Danzuka is locked up in the Oregon State Penitentiary, a maximum-security institution in Salem.

    Previously, the highest blood alcohol contents reported by TSG were the .72 recorded by an Oregon woman in 2007 and the .708 recorded by a South Dakota woman in 2009.

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    The 23-year-old woman seen here was photographed this week upon entry to a Michigan county jail.

    The whereabouts of her missing hair are unknown.

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    See if you can spot the difference between these two mug shots (click to enlarge).

    The 24-year-old pictured in the photos was arrested early yesterday morning by Illinois police.

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    During a dispute over whether to watch cartoons or the show “Monk,” a Florida Man struck his roommate at an assisted living facility over the head with his cane, according to cops who arrested the accused assailant on a felony charge.

    Investigators say that Glenn Hutchinson, 58, struck the 56-year-old disabled victim during a confrontation Sunday evening at the Midway Manor facility in Clearwater. Both men are residents there due to “a variety of physical conditions,” according to an arrest affidavit.

    While his roommate sought to watch cartoons, Hutchinson preferred to view “Monk,” the police procedural starring Tony Shalhoub as an obsessive-compulsive sleuth. The pair’s argument over the TV turned violent when Hutchinson hit the victim, Edward Vance Davis, on the head with his aluminum cane.

    Hutchinson told police that Davis “drove his motorized scooter into his leg,” prompting him to swing the cane in self-defense. Davis, who was left with a “visible mark” due to the cane blow, was not transported to a hospital.

    Charged with aggravated battery with a deadly weapon, Hutchinson was booked into the county jail, where he remains behind bars in lieu of $5000 bond. A judge has ordered him to have no contact with Davis.