Quick, Someone Get This Anxiety-Ridden Guy A Fidget Spinner Or Some Xanax Bars

A man arrested early yesterday for masturbating in public told police that engaging in such illicit pleasure sessions “helps with his anxiety,” according to an arrest report.

Cops allege that Carlos Salvador, 20, was naked from the waist down when a witness spotted him around 2:30 AM inside a 24-hour laundromat in Clearwater, Florida. In a 911 call, the witness reported that the male suspect had an erect penis and was masturbating “out in the open.”

When police arrived at the laundromat (seen below), Salvador was seated inside and “masturbating while watching pornography on his phone.”

During police questioning, Salvador reportedly admitted to previously masturbating in public, saying that it “helps with his anxiety.”

Salvador was arrested for exposure of sexual organs, a misdemeanor, and booked into the county jail. He was later released on his own recognizance.

Perhaps someone should introduce Salvador to exercise, fidget spinners, or the benzodiazepine family before he gets into further legal trouble.