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- Vandals cause nearly $30k worth of damage to Christmas light display, leading to fears that they may once again sack Rome [Scary]
- When I'm 91, I will urinate in the street at 3 PM and blissfully ignore the questioning officer, not threaten to kick his ass [Strange]
- Or just practice in front of a mirror while watching Bugs Bunny in "Hare Tonic" [Obvious]









